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Nearly Four Feet of SkyMall Fest 2009

October 17, 2009

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“Nearly four feet tall” — the boy or his stream of urine?

SkyMall Fest 2009: Ye Olde Baseball Pinball Game

October 10, 2009

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There’s gotta be a Facebook app for this out there somewhere.

SkyMall Fest 2009: Cenegenics Reloaded

August 18, 2009

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I’ll leave it up to you to decide which is most ridiculous: the jeans with no belt, the cell phone and pager on the swimming suit while BBQing, or every other aspect of these damn Cenegenics advertisements.

SkyMall Fest 2009: Fashion Attack of the Clones

April 5, 2009

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SkyMall Fest 2009: Dr. Cenegenics

March 11, 2009

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Hey, everyone, Dr. Life invented the miracle cure for aging, Cenegenics. Did you hear? It improves muscle tone and energy, decreases body fat, sharpens thinking, and improves your outlook on life. While Cenegenics can reverse the signs and symptoms of aging, those suffering from male pattern baldness are out of luck. Hey, there’s only so [...]

SkyMall Fest 2009: The Road Warrior Unplugged

March 8, 2009

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Hi, quick note to Mr. Cool 20-something guy: Do you realize that as you and your work buddies share a hearty laugh about market growth, your clone is running off with a company projector? And, by the way, your fancy projector isn’t even plugged in. I guess that explains why you had to tack a [...]

SkyMall Fest 2008: Are you done Yeti?

November 21, 2008

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With its redundantly redundant name and characteristically big feet, the Big Foot the Garden Yeti sculpture serves absolutely no pragmatic purpose other than to remind me of my favorite Jack Link’s Messin’ with Sasquatch commercial, “Cold One”. There is something endlessly amusing about the disparity between Sasquatch’s facial expression before and after he gets blasted [...]

SkyMall Fest 2008: No Light in the Attic

October 20, 2008

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Incredibly, this Casio projector actually bends light around the presenter, eliminating the possibility that images are unnecessarily warped by the topography of the body. It’s also wireless or something, but that’s like so totally 2003.

SkyMall Fest 2008: E-Z Chord

October 16, 2008

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I’ve said it for years: it’s time that we give one-fingered men and women a chance to contribute in guitar ensembles. With the release of the Patented E-Z Chord, the only remaining challenge will be finding an audience that is patient enough to endure a song painfully drawn out over the course of an hour. [...]