Friendly, neighborhood snowman
The notion of a snowman helping us shovel snow is both ridiculous and ridiculous. But, then again, people are pretty friendly in St. Louis.
Archive for the ‘signs’ Category
A Neurosigntist’s Point of View: Cleaning up after Yourself
Monday, August 3rd, 2009A Neurosigntist’s Wanton Disregard for Federal Authority of the Day (Or How I learned to Stop Worrying and Love the JuxtapositionFest 2009)
Saturday, July 11th, 2009Protect THIS!
Awesome: This morning, I attended the Pentagon Force Protection Agency’s “Urban Shield” Operational Response test. The test was conducted to improve the operational response of emergency personnel to an outdoor airborne biological attack and to evaluate the effectiveness of various personnel decontamination procedures. Test volunteers were positioned at locations inside and outside of the Pentagon, and a single release of a biological particulate tracer material, referred to as garden powder, occured along a nearby access road. Post-release, volunteers were transported to a decontamination station near the Pentagon Navy Annex, where test volunteers underwent surface sampling to evaluate their exposure to the particulate tracer followed by one of two water-based decontamination protocols. Post-decontamination, volunteers underwent another round of surface sampling to evaluate removal of the particulate tracer.
Awesomer: The event marked a rare opportunity to break one of the forbidden laws of the Pentagon grounds: no photography.
A Neurosigntist’s Point of View: Cross-Eyed
Tuesday, July 7th, 2009
Let’s talk about the reasons that your family is getting hit by cars and start with the fact that they’re looking into the sky when crossing the street.
A Neurosigntist’s Lopsided Point of View
Monday, April 13th, 2009Lopsignded
When Lindsor, Michael, and I saw this BigFoot Awareness Week sign on 16th street, we went completely out of our way to capture its strange and unusual orientation. Why would this Bigfoot be positioned at a 45 degree angle? Was it falling backwards? Were we falling forward? This meant something. This was important.
Over the next couple of weeks, I explored notions both logical and irrational, physical and celestial, and then I watched like 12 straight episodes of that “Warriors” show on The History Channel and completely forgot what I pondering.
Fast forward to right now, and I just realized that the Bigfoot is actually positioned on the sign as normal. A construction worker must have tilted the sign before adding the arrow, and then through some process of deduction, decided that it was more important that the arrow was flush to the horizontal.
Ah ha! Mystery solved.
ALERT: Bigfoot watch in DC this week!
Sunday, March 29th, 2009Messin’ with Mimefest
Spring is a wonderful time in our nation’s capital. Life-giving showers have reinvigorated our plants and our spirits as we prepare for the summer heat and the arrival of thousands of Bigfoots into the DC metro area.
This year’s Bigfoot influx is expected to be the biggest in nearly 10 years, and city officials are taking no chances. Informative signs have been posted throughout the wooded areas of northwest DC to alert hikers and picnickers about our guests. These signs are also being posted in urban locations like Dupont Circle, which offer shopping, dining and coffee spots that are popular in the Bigfoot community.
An anonymous city official warned that these signs cannot solve all of our problems. Residents are advised to be aware of their surroundings at all times and avoid any direct Bigfoot interaction. Limbs and other detached anatomy will be collected at the nearest post office and can be claimed Mon-Friday during working hours.
To help in this spring’s Bigfoot effort, the beef jerky maker, Jack Links, has re-released their “Messin’ with Sasquatch” educational series. The episode below, “Cold One”, has proven most effective at building public awareness and appreciation for the dangers of engaging Bigfoots, particularly those engagements involving alcohol abuse-induced taunting.
Good luck, and let’s stay safe out there!
A Bioephemerist’s Point of View
Thursday, March 12th, 2009
What in the name of all things big and small did they use to clean their carpets? And what is the logic of using it in such copious amounts that it would require deliberate foot-eye coordination to navigate into the elevator?
Thanks to Bioephemera for spotting this helpful sign.
Bourne Redundancy Redundancy of the Day: Pentagon Edition Edition
Friday, January 9th, 2009Look, five signs — CRAZY!!!
In a strange way, I kind of admire the person who so carefully lined up these five signs. It shows thoughtfulness…or lunacy. And, hey, an act of lunacy never hurt anyone.
A new Known Unknown?
Thursday, January 8th, 2009
We will know soon enough.
A Neurosigntist’s Point of View: DC Metro Trash
Tuesday, November 25th, 2008“Is that your bag…and your severed and minced hands, right arm, feet, and hair?” 
Perhaps this is why the Metro lady so adamantly suggests we step back as the metro doors are closing.
A Neurosigntist’s Point of View: Addressing Our Nation’s Beheaded Jester Problem
Friday, November 21st, 2008
As we all know, Washington DC is among the slipperiest cities in the nation. According to a study by the Department of Homeland Security, slippings have increased ten-fold over the past decade, a trend that may account for the recent surge in beheaded medieval court jesters found throughout the nation’s capital. In addition, the accessories carried by these jesters, including diamond-studded staff’s and ski hats, have become hot commodities during the economic downturn as Americans search for alternative sources of income. To counter this growing problem, the federal government has launched a $100 billion dollar experimental program that places informative signs at primary tourist attractions around the District. These signs not only promote slippage awareness through catchy phrases like “Caution” and “Slippery Conditions”, but they also graphically depict a beheading process that can be characterized by loss of hair, ears, and all facial features, a phenomenon that has made slippee identification a daunting task for law enforcement officials.
Please do your part to protect our medieval court jester population!