If my feet could have nightmares, they would pretty much look like the Crocs store in Pittsburgh International Airport.
Archive for the ‘pensive reflections’ Category
What a Crocs!
Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009Bud Light with Mime
Tuesday, August 11th, 2009Busched!
Number of Eberhard Anheuser statues mimed by John during the Anheuser-Busch St. Louis Brewery tour: 1.
Number of Eberhard Anheuser statues mimed by you during the Anheuser-Busch St. Louis Brewery tour: 0.
Recent Movie Reviews
Wednesday, August 5th, 2009After I see a movie, I rate and review it on my Netflix account, and through the beauty of Facebook Connect, this information is magically displayed on my Facebook Wall. The reviews are short, mostly uninformative, and sometimes unintelligible, yet they are entirely likely to inspire you.
Here’s a recap of my most recent viewings:
4 out of 5 stars
An enormously complex and emotional movie. Joaquin Phoenix is as good at acting as he is bad at rapping.
An enormously complex and emotional movie. Joaquin Phoenix is as good at acting as he is bad at rapping.
1 out of 5 stars
So incredibly bad that about halfway through the movie I just went to Wikipedia and read the full plot details.
So incredibly bad that about halfway through the movie I just went to Wikipedia and read the full plot details.
4 out of 5 stars
Awkward and disturbing from start to finish. What a great movie!
Awkward and disturbing from start to finish. What a great movie!
3 out of 5 stars
Incredibly entertaining and great special effects. However, this movie takes itself WAY too seriously — does every scene really have to play like its the final scene of The Usual Suspects?
Incredibly entertaining and great special effects. However, this movie takes itself WAY too seriously — does every scene really have to play like its the final scene of The Usual Suspects?
3 out of 5 stars
Much better than I expected; really good performances, especially Brolin.
Much better than I expected; really good performances, especially Brolin.
4 out of 5 stars
This was painful to watch…in a good way!
This was painful to watch…in a good way!
Why I quit Twitter in a 140 characters or less
Saturday, June 13th, 2009I cancelled my Twitter account today. It was a cost-benefit decision. What do you think? Visit my blog –> http://tinyurl.com/locdko
How to invite someone to purchase and consume a coffee beverage?
Tuesday, March 10th, 2009My colleague, Tim, and I recently explored an age-old question: how do you properly ask someone to purchase and consume a coffee beverage? We may never have an answer. I’ve listed the most common variations below. You may find each item to be increasingly annoying as you descend through the list. I am still unable to physically bring myself to say the final item out loud.
Let’s get coffee!Let’s get some coffee!
Let’s get a cup of coffee!
Let’s getta cuppa coffee!
Let’s get a coffee!
Let’s go to coffee!
Let’s do coffee!
Let’s coffee!
Movie Dream
Sunday, March 8th, 2009Last night, I dreamed that I was sitting on the floor in a small room with Jim Carrey and an unidentified friend of mine. This small room contained nothing but a couch. On this couch sat actor Christopher Plummer and director Steven Spielberg. Jim Carrey is distinguished from the other celebrities because for some reason he wasn’t famous in the dream. Only in retrospect did I realize he was the same Jim Carrey from real life.
We were in an awkward dialogue, the topic of which I cannot remember. I decided to inject some life into the room by asking Christopher Plummer and Steven Spielberg to tell us their top ten favorite movies of all time. Christopher Plummer could only come up with three, one of which was Gone with the Wind: Special Edition. Yes, the “special edition”. I don’t know what that means, nor do I remember his other two movie selections.
Steven Speilburg asked to have a few moments alone before revealing his list, so he left the room. He returned shortly thereafter and wrote his top ten list on a chalk board that had apparently been in the room the entire time. I did not recognize a single movie on his list. A few of his selections were little-known live action short films. My unidentified friend explained to me that one of these movies consisted of nothing but a hand moving randomly for 10 minutes as it extended from an empty fish bowl. He explained that this film was highly regarded in the film industry. The rest of Steven Speilburg’s list was clearly Japanese animation titles. This was confirmed by my unidentified friend.
I sensed that I just been part of a once-in-a-lifetime experience. In the dream landscape, having knowledge of Steven Speilburg’s top ten favorite movies was a big deal. This was important information. I would release this list to the public and become famous. It was almost too easy. I explored the possibility of starting a website that would display the top ten list. I began thinking about Google AdSense, search engine optimization strategies, and web design. I would need to seize this opportunity as soon as possible.
Then, I woke up. I still had that overwhelming sense of urgency and optimism inside of me. But, I immediately snapped back to reality–why would Christopher Plummer only be able to come up with three favorite movies? That doesn’t even make sense.
Ridiculous.
Top ten reasons not to use any variation of the word "Tweet"
Friday, January 30th, 2009- It’s annoying.
- It’s annoying.
- It’s annoying.
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- It’s annoying.
- It’s annoying.
- It’s annoying.
- It’s annoying.
- It’s annoying.
- It’s annoying.
The Pull-up Tree Destroyed! Presidential Inauguration Ruined!
Monday, January 19th, 2009Gone, baby gone
Jenny and I were recently discussing potential events that could ruin the Presidential Inauguration weekend. We came up with two. One was the Cardinals losing to the Eagles in the NFC Championship. This did not happen. The other event was the sudden, unexplainable destruction of the famous U Street Pull-up Tree. This happened.
Inauguration weekend ruined. I mean, I’m still going, but it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters without the Pull-up Tree.
20 Reasons You Shouldn’t Say "W00t"
Monday, November 24th, 2008- It’s annoying.
- It’s annoying.
- It’s annoying.
- It’s annoying.
- It’s annoying.
- It’s annoying.
- It’s annoying.
- It’s annoying.
- It’s annoying.
- It’s annoying.
- It’s annoying.
- It’s annoying.
- It’s annoying.
- It’s annoying.
- It’s annoying.
- It’s annoying.
- It’s annoying.
- It’s annoying.
- It’s annoying.
- It’s annoying.
DC Tour Guide: The U Street Pull-up Tree
Monday, November 17th, 2008The U Street Pull-Up Tree
During my youth, I always dreaded those days in PE when we were graded on our ability to perform various physical challenges, including but not limited to: timed laps, push-ups, sit-ups, the rope-climb, and most of all, pull-ups. I remember watching in horror as random classmates–usually the puniest kids–could pump out 25 pull-ups or climb the rope 10 times without stopping. I, on the other hand, could barely muster one pull-up and never got more than 3 feet up the rope (about as high as I could jump). Perhaps it’s genetic (thanks Oldhab) or simply a matter of passion (I have none). Either way, I did not excel at any of these exercises.
As an adult, nothing has changed. I apparently have still not developed adequate upper body strength to perform more than about 5 pull-ups, and even that is a struggle. So, when Jenny and I came across this stumpy tree branch at 1428 U St NW, I was not about to risk humiliating myself. So, I encouraged Jenny to jump up there and see if she was up to the challenge. Much to my satisfaction, Jenny was unable to perform even a single pull-up. Instead, she just hung there motionless as passers-by mocked and laughed at her. I laughed as well. I also pointed at her.
Do you have what it takes? Visit the U Street Pull-up Tree yourself and report back!