Please join me in congratulating this year’s duo of OscarFest Champions: first-time winner Allison Hawley and second-time winner Eric Doty. In a feat that can only be described as “ridiculous”, Allison and Eric scored a ridiculous 19 correct picks out of 24. Seriously?

Visit OscarFest 2011 to see how you stacked up against all 138 participants. You’re sure to find at least a few friends who did worse than you.

Thanks to several generous contributions, $235 will be donated in the Champions’ names to 1n10, a non-profit organization dedicated to serving and assisting lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning youth. Allison and Eric may have earned the OscarFest crown (and complimentary OscarFest Snuggie), but, in the end, we are all winners.

Thanks again for taking part in the greatest and best OscarFest the world has ever seen… EVER! (until next year)

OscarFest 2011 is back and better than ever!  Thanks to Eric, we have a great new multi-functional OscarFest website, and, thanks to Arlene, my head has once again been plopped seamlessly onto a shiny Oscar statue. Let’s get down to business!

Haven’t see any movies? Don’t worry! OscarFest is so easy a child could do it. In fact, we regularly have infants who score better than their parents simply by mashing their hands about the keyboard. Now THAT is bonkers!

Here is how you participate:

1. Register if you’re new or log in using your email address from last year.
2. Make your picks by Sunday February 27 at 8pm eastern.
3. Join our Facebook Fan Page.

Even if you don’t win, I promise that you will enjoy identifying those who did worse than you and mocking them at future social events.

If that isn’t enough incentive, we’re donating $70 (and growing) in the Champion’s name to 1n10, a non-profit organization dedicated to serving and assisting lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (LGBTQ) youth. It’s an effort to have fun and help people.

Visit OscarFest and see what everyone (~34 people) are talking about!

Here are my top 10 favorite  films of 2009.  Interesting how Moon and 500 Days of Summer weren’t nominated for any Oscars. Hmmm……

1. Moon

2. 500 Days of Summer

3. The Hurt Locker

4. Inglorious Bastards

5. Michael Jackson’s This Is It

6. White Ribbon

7. Up in the Air

8. In the Loop

9. District 9

10. I Love You Man

Are you a friend of mine or even a colleague that I kind of know a little? If so, vote in OscarFet 2010, the Greatest and Best Oscar Pick’em Contest in the World. It’s easy and fun. Just visit http://oscarfest.com, create an account, and make your picks. You can leave a comment, which probably won’t even get screened beforehand. Amazing!

http://oscarfest.com

You have until 8pm eastern on March 7, 2010, to cast your votes!

Yes, it’s happening! OscarFest is back and better than ever. Stay tuned…

(click banner for full size)

It took 38 years for Starbucks to unleash their full-bodied, flavorful instant coffee known as “Via.” It took only one well-documented loss in OscarFest 2003 to steal my likeness for their VIA marketing bulletin.

Devon: I will win!

Marygrace: I can hardly wait to come in 80th this year!

Jessica: I am ashamed to say I have only seen one of these films. OK – I just watched Oktapodi. Now I’ve seen two! At any rate, if I do well at all, it will be because I am able to assess a film’s chance of winning based entirely on how angsty the actors look in a 40 pixel screenshot, how “serious” the color palette looks, and how pretentious the title of the film sounds. That’s MY winning algorithm – utter ignorance making snap judgments, all the way!

Beth: I only saw the Dark Knight, Ironman and Wall-e…how sad is that?

Karl: I will finish dead last in this since I know virtually nothing about any of these films. GO CARDINALS SUPER BOWL CHAMPS

Maral: Write-in candidates next time, dood.

Marina: Thanks for the opportunity to play!

Bardia: GO WALL-E

Patrick: Like last year, this is a shot in the dark since I’ve seen exactly none of these movies…

Ellie: Brangelina mania is already too out of control, so I truly hope neither member of the pretty pair gets picked.

Joan: John, I’m afraid I’m going to have a nightmare tonight after seeing your head on top of Oscar’s body! It’s kinda freaky! Go Sean Penn!
Geoff: Half these movies I haven’t seen. Guess I’m relying on a little luck here…

Alyson: Let’s DO this!!!

Mike: I have no idea what some of these movies are…so i guessed.

Gita: Thanks John

Dane: Film V.S. DIGI.

Oggie: I’m hoping I have at least one correct answer.

Grandmar Barbieri: Hi, Dr. John, I plan to win this time!

Gene: Going for broke yet again. Hopefully, I can hit the big zero this year. Failure is the only option! And no – I WILL NOT WATCH THE OSCARS NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU PAY ME!

Carla: It’s a crapshoot!

Lisa: Victory will be mine by the Power of Grayskull!

Theo: Somehow, somewhere, I smell an upset. I don’t know how; I don’t know where. But it’s in the air.

Tim: Nice work, Jono!

Grammy: I am a sure winner!

Kathy: I feel REALLY good about 7 of my choices.

Frank: I never win anything, maybe I will get the golden Oscar this year.

Anna: I’m pretty sure this is the crappiest ballot EVER!

Mark: I admit it’ll be hard to repeat this year – I’ve included way too many sentimental choices…

Brian/Josh: I can foresee no possible situation where I do not win.

Dave: Movies may be the entertainment king of today, but tomorrow will be the paddleball’s day in the sun.

Mary: Hope to be enjoying Oscar night with your mom!

Roger: I guarantee that I win. If not I will double your money. Please send me all of it.

Karen: I hope you’re doing well. Thanks for keeping the OscarFest alive!

Michael : I’m sure I failed big time! 2005 was my year!!!

Jen: One of these days, I will reign again.

The Pejman: Cardinals!

Songlin: Have fun!

Pedrom: This is my year!

Tim: Why am I not nominated on any of these lists?

Jerry: Greetings to all you movie lovers out there. For the 2nd consecutive year I am attempting to be voted Miss Congeniality of the Oscars. Could this be my year?

Ashwini: Thanks John!

Mark: Saw VI wasn’t nominated?

Steve: Just hand me the winning papers.

Jemal: I voted everything Slumdog…. but I’m really mad still that Wall-E wasn’t in Best Picture… HONK!

Jamie: these are the best GUESSES I could come up with

Sarah: Emily made me do it…

Drew: He’s towering over everybody!

Sarah: But we’re all winners just for being nominated…and why yes, I am wearing Chanel, but my swag bag goes to your charity Ohab!

Megan: I haven’t seen most of these movies, so if I do well it’s purely a stroke of luck…

Jag: Good job!

Tim: Hopefully, I beat random test picks this year!

Matt: Betting big on Benjamin. Could be a good bet, could be horribly wrong.

Eric: I haven’t seen any of these movies!

OSCARFEST 2009

Nearly a year has passed since Mark Tong stole the OscarFest 2008 crown in most dramatic fashion. This year, the stakes are higher than ever, and it will take all of your movie wits to become Champion.

Are you up to the challenge?

OscarFest 2009 marks a departure from prevoius years, in which the winner recieved nothing more than the right to mock and laugh at his or her peers for all of eternity. This year, I will donate $25 in the Champion’s name to Salvaide, an organization dedicated to fostering social and economic development in El Salvador by empowering those in need.

This is your chance to make a difference. This is your chance to become a legend.

Click here, enter www.oscarfest.com in your webbed browser, or ask a friend to help you navigate to the appropriate Internet location to participate in Oscarfest 2009. Don’t miss out!

Movies are good. Voting in the Oscar Pick’em indicates that you like movies. If you do not vote, then you do not like movies; you do not like things that are good; and you probably do not like fluffy bunny tails, puppies, or kittens. This is not something to be proud of.

Though your Oscar votes will be manipulated to reflect my desired outcome, the comments that were left during the voting process are unadulterated:

Marygrace Ohab: Lookin’ good!

Jerry Coffey: There are those that try to pick correctly… and then there’s me! My quest is to miss every single one. Wish me luck.

Emily Ghan: Hey John! I’ve been thinking how this year is going to be really interesting. With best actor/supporting actor/original screenplay etc. looking like a lock, it seems like heroes will be made in the more obscure categories… Anyways, good luck!

Lindsay Ohab: This year was particularly hard. I would also like to note that I am disappointed that Norbit was nominated in only one category. Blasphemy!

Patrick Clemins (aka Beast): Seeing as how I’ve seen NONE of these films, my chance of winning is exactly zero

Melissa Antman: I have not seen a single one of these movies. Maybe that will help me win the fabulous grand prize.

Oggie Coffey: I have not seen any of the movies, but I am hoping to win.

Kelli Campbell: That was fun! wish I had seen more of those movies!

Jessica Palmer: I totally guessed on these. I have only seen one of all these films. But I am psychic so it should all balance out.

Devon Ohab: That was hard!

Gene Gurkoff: Another attempt at complete and utter failure… last year I got one or two right… a total disappointment. Just like American politics, a race to the bottom baby!!

Drew Fowler: I want to take his face…off. What was that all about?

Bardia Nikpourian: Oh boy oh boy oh boy

Emily Sandvig: Yea! Woo!

Allison Bigbee: I didn’t see any of these – but I HAD to play

Pete Henry: DOC JOHN, I guarantee this is a “WINNER”!

Brian/Josh Jackson: I foresee no scenario in which I lose.

Julie Gold: Let’s see how I do with never having heard of any of these movies? (OK, I’ve heard of a couple, but I haven’t seen a single one!)

Karl Reichardt: I’ve only seen Atonement so this was pure guesswork.

Roger Mears: This site is much better than Boge’s Best Bets.

Pejman Kalkhoran: How could I lose? The only movie I have seen is No Country For Old Men, so I picked that in every case. In short, I have no chance.

Sarah Evans: Funny I was just humming “Raise it up” to myself this a.m. Methinks the “Original Song” part of the ceremony will also be known as “refreshment break time” in the Evans household.

Deborah Bouvier: I think that I should probably get to the movies more often….

Andrew Son: Sup John! How’ve you been?

Libby O’Hare: This might be my worst performance…where there any other movies this past year besides “Blood” and “No Country”?

Yassiin Nasser: I guarantee my guarantee…that I will not be last!

Grammy Ohab: LUV U Doc!

Ashwini Sagar: Hi John

Jemal Zenuni: Go Norbit!

Megan Pickering: I like movies, puppies and fuzzy bunnies…

Greg Davey: FOLSOM SUCKS!

Songlin Li: My guess does not mean anything. I much prefer to watch the games of the Rockets and Suns.

Megan Pickering: I like movies, puppies and fuzzy bunnies…

Jen Coffey: You’re goin’ down, my friend.

Pouya Bozorgchami: If it’s on…then it’s on. If I win it just goes to show…absolutely nothing. Ballah!

Joan Barbieri: That is one freaky Oscar statute – no offense, John!

Anuj Gupta: Vote For Change We Can Believe In!

Tristan Winneker: Yo bebo su sacudida de leche! Lo bebo para arriba!

Katie Schaefer: Yo bebo su sacudida de leche! Lo bebo para arriba!

Gianna and Adilene Barbieri: That Matt Damon and Johnny Depp sure are cute — as is that Oscar guy!

All:

The Oscars are fast approaching. Do you have what it takes to be the winner? Seize this opportunity to etch your name in the annals of history. You may never get this chance again (until next year).

A final reminder will be released the day before the ceremony. Good luck!

It is time.

Awards season has arrived, and there is no better way to celebrate the spirit of filmmaking than a competitive Oscar Pick’em! Last year’s competition saw Carol Barbieri take the crown amidst controversy and public outrage. This year, the stakes are higher than ever.

Do you have what it takes?

There are two easy and fun ways to access the voting page:
1. Directly: HERE
2. Indirectly: visit the homepage and click on the Oscar Pick’em link.

As in previous years, the winner receives absolutely nothing, unless of course you value the inherited right to mock and laugh at your peers for the rest of eternity, in which case, this competition offers a gift that keeps on giving.

Please pass this email along to anyone who might be interested. I hope you are all doing well and good luck!

The votes have been tallied and once again Jen C. takes the (proverbial) crown!

Coming soon to a live journal entry near you: my thoughts and reflections on this year’s Oscar Pick’em.

Your 2004 Academy Awards Pick’Em Champion…

Some random observations about the 2004 Academy Awards Pick’Em Experience:

1. 83 people competed in this year’s pick’em, compared to 41 last year, and only 14 the year before that.
2. Daniel Graf, Debbie Drysdale, Kaz, and Frank Campbell all performed worse than their opponent “Random Test Picks”, which was actually me blindly clicking on random selections just to see if the submission process worked.
3. Vivian and “Valerie’s Friend”, last year’s champions, didn’t even bother to defend their title.
4. Kevin Nista only voted in 5 categories but got them all right.
5. Drew Fowler, last year’s lame duck performer with only four correct picks, equaled his previous total though he did manage to stay out of last place (he tied for 75th out of 83 total)
6. After all the hullabaloo I created about the Academy Awards and this incredibly important competition, I spent nearly the entire awards show in an airport and on an airplane.
7. The “Big Gainer Award” goes to Marty Ohab, who had 14 correct picks, doubling last year’s total.
8. This journal entry will appear to have been posted at 3:48 PM on February 27, 2005, several hours before the Academy Awards took place. How is this possible?
9. Both Linsor and Lindsor had 14 correct picks.
10. Devon is my youngest sister.
11. Some of the more interesting messages entered into the *How Did You Find Out About the Pick’Em* text box as people submitted their picks:
    

    Julie Friedman: “Remember me? It was a cold and lonely night. I saw you from across the bar….”

    Mike Terlizzi: “John IM’d me the link and used coercive measures to make me vote.”

Libby O’Hare: “We know each other, but not in the biblical sense.

Greg Davey: “I think we met in a Brothel outside of Riverside.”

Sean Huff: “Fuck you.”

Michael Dunford: “I love you John!!!!”

Tristan Winnecker: “But…I do know you.”

Matt Egan: “I was harassed into participating…I’m so above these things. The prize better be good when I win.”

Jennifer Bramen: “In most cases, I chose films I disliked to win (like how I predict the Aviator to sweep the awards?). I figure I have a better shot than with previous years, when I chose films I liked. “

Joseph Rutkowski: “I have never seen any of these movies John, but I hope you are happy!”

Brandon Hawley: “You only like the boys? Hotos!”

Louisa Wang: “Bathroom wall at the local porno market.”

Mike Jackson: “John Ohab rules!”

Vinay Sagar: “God told me to come here.”

Roger Mears: “My brother some how knows you and told me to use this name.”

12. The email I received from Jen this morning regarding her pick’em performance:
    

    I sucked big balls in the Oscar Pick Em.

    *** CLICK HERE to see where you placed in 2004 Academy Awards Pick’Em!!

5:20: Renee Zellweger. Hi, thanks for coming. You look like you are wearing a giant role of toilet paper.

5:30: The video montage with Billy Crystal spliced into various films from 2003 was actually pretty hilarious. One question: how many times did we have to see Billy Crystal’s bare breasts and buttocks? Seriously, zero times is enough. I was upset to hear that Steve Martin wouldn’t be returning but Mr. Crystal seems to be pretty enthusiastic during his song and dance routine. It’s interesting how the production of the Academy Awards has changed in recent years. After MTV started doing all of those parodies of movies and songs, it’s clear that the more conservative Oscar group realized how much that stuff sells. There must have been, what, 10 Janet Jackson boob jokes throughout the show?

Johnny Depp looks exactly the same as he did in A Nightmare on Elm Street in 1984. Clint Eastwood looks like he’s about to keel over and die from extreme blood loss.

5:50: Well, the Academy Awards Pick’Em page has officially been taken down. Here we go with the best supporting actor: Tim Robbins! Now, I can begin opening the database of selections and “not” change my answers.

6:05: In retrospect, my decision to not vote for The Lord of the Rings for art direction may have been a unwise one. This is due, in part, to the fact that LOTR just won the award and my selection, The Last Samurai, did not. Peter Jackson is a great director and a brilliant man, but really, this does not excuse the outfit and the hair. We all know the deal: he is super laid back and not concerned about his appearance. But, come on…you can only be THAT unkempt when you make a concerted effort.

Pejman: “Look at Peter Jackson. His shirt is tearing.”6:15: Did anyone ever notice that the ring of Sauran is around his gauntlet? What a show off.

6:25: Michael Douglas is starting to wrap up his Golden Globe award acceptance speech. We’ll keep you updated on any developments as we hear them.

7:45: We’ve reached a critical junction in the Academy Awards pick’em: Best Documentary Feature. This has traditionally been the category where the winners and losers are defined. This is a peculiar phenomenon, given that there are still like 12 awards left. But who am I to argue with karma. Well, it looks like The Fog of War takes the Oscar! This is really going to shake up the standings. It is clear that Jen and Javan are aware of the importance of this category (see Best Documentary victory cheers).

8:00: Lord of the Rings: Return of the King wins Best Original score, which I find to be a little strange considering this score is exactly the same as it was for the previous two Lord of the Rings movies. I guess the term “original” is used very loosely here. Personally, I was rooting for Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood, a sort of diamond in the rough that really broke new ground in…I’m sorry, I can’t even attempt to go on with this joke… “Leppy in the Hood 2″ is just another straight-to-video lamefest with filled with random violence. To his credit, Leppy himself (played heroically by Warwick Davis) does bust a few rhymes in between killing a number of innocent urban youths.

8:45: Well, it’s pretty clear that Lord of the Rings is going to win every award. I didn’t even see Mystic River, yet I found it incredibly necessary to pick it for best adapted screenplay over LOTR. Why?

Tim: “I almost stepped on Elijah Wood at the movie theaters the other day.”
John: “Tobey Maguire looks like a 9-year old with a beard.”

9:05: Clint Eastwood is looking more and more like the perfect candidate to snag the highly-touted role of Skeletor in the next He-man movie.

9:30: It’s over. The votes have been tallied, and in an unfortunate turn of events, the winner is not me (see agonizing defeat pose)

* Acceptance Speach of the Day: “I know I don’t have a lot of time, but I would just like to thank the people of New Zealand.”

* Javan Quote of the Day: “That guy looks like he’s preparing for his own funeral.”

* Just One of Those Things That Doesn’t Make Sense of the Day: Why does Roger refer to himself as “Boeja”, yet type “Boge Boge HEY” in the Roger Mears Theme Song?

* Movie Quote of the Day: “Because I choose to.”

• Why is City of God nominated for Best Director, Cinematography, Film Editing, Adapted Screenplay, but not Best Foreign film? Furthermore, why is it not nominated for Best Picture? See this movie and you will know exactly what I’m talking about.
• Why are neither The Matrix Reloaded or The Matrix Revolutions nominated for a single visual or special effects category?
• Why is Benecio del Toro nominated for Best Supporting Actor, Naomi Watts for Best Actress, and Sean Penn for neither in 21 Grams when each actor’s role contributed equally to movie? Moreover, Naomi Watts performance was dull and completely uninspiring–why is she nominated at all?
• Why is Diane Keaton nominated for Best Actress in Something’s Gotta Give? Isn’t she just making a guest appearance as herself–an old-as-she-looks, over-the-hill actress straining to find a decent role?
• Why is Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World nominated more times than there are nomination categories?
• Who’s idea was it to name Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World?
• Why have I not seen Lost In Translation yet consider it the best movie of the year?
• Why did they nominate Brother Bear, the story of a man who became a legend when he became a bear, when it is clear that Finding Nemo was already chosen by the gods as the “greatest movie of all time”? Furthermore, why do people think Finding Nemo is anything special? Have they not seen every other Disney movie that is exactly the same but actually funny and creative? (see, Aladdin, The Little Mermaid, Robinhood)
• Who is this so-called “they” that I keep referring to?
• Is there some kind of agreement that Renee Zellweger will be nominated for an Oscar every year?
• Is anyone else as excited as I am to not have Jack Nicholson nominated for an award?
• Why am I listening to Belinda Carlisle songs as I type this?

* Funniest Thing I’ve Ever Said to Seth of the Day: “It’s funny how you are Bouvier when imbouvier.”

* Movie Quote of the Day: “Did you know that eating alone could cause kidney damage? And that’s bad.”

Instead of doing all of my Academy Awards comments in one long journal entry, I think I’ll just do a category here and there as I feel a rush of creative energy. Tonight, we’ll start off with the biggest of them all, Best Picture. First of all, let me say that only two of the movies nominated for Best Picture even deserved it. “Chicago”, “Gangs of New York”, and “The Hours” were all forgettable movies and should have been left off the list. I think it’s even debatable whether “Lord of the Rings” deserved to be up there. This year lacked the epic (e.g., Schindler’s List) or the fan-favorite (e.g., Forrest Gump) or the surprise hit (e.g., Titanic) of recent years, and instead, was saturated with a bunch of “pretty good movies”. This is fine by me, but it makes for a difficult, and as evidenced by this year’s awards, a disappointing outcome. There are a lot of problems with Chicago, some excusable other not, but the real failure is in the acting. And, it’s not because of a lack of effort. Richard “Can’t Carry a Note” Gere, Renee “Hi I’m Skeletor” Zelwegger, and John “Same Role as Always Except, Hey, I’m Singing Now” C. Reilly were all trying their hardest, but let’s face it. They are not singers, they are not dancers, and in this movie, they even forgot to be actors. At times, I was so embarrassed for them that I often had to turn away and think of unrelated topics like “how many more fans the Cardinals will have now that they’ve signed Emmit Smith” or “what ever happened to the ‘Simply Blimpy-I Can’t Say It’ lady?” . I was experiencing the same sort of vicarious embarrassment that I feel when I watch N’Sync or Backstreet Boys perform a live concert. You know that feeling you have when you just pray they don’t mess up their lines or forget a dance move and the only thing that keeps you from walking out of the room is that the embarrassment diffuses between everyone involved and so no single person is totally responsible? Yeah, that’s what I felt like the whole movie. Plus, the songs weren’t particularly good, which is a bit of a problem when the entire movie contains singing and music. I suppose the “All That Jazz” song is pretty good, though that ridiculous look on Catherine Zeta-Jones’s face was enough to land me in a funny farm. They were clearly doing 50 takes per 10-second increment anyway due to the overall poor acting, why not just do another one from the top without that “trying-to-smile-but-tired-from-dancing-panting-child-molester-face”?

So what do I think SHOULD have a) been nominated and b) won? The answer is only partially complete. I haven’t seen the “Quiet American”, “Talk to Her”, or “Catch Me If You Can”, so I can’t comment on those. I do think Adaptation should have at least been nominated, as well as a handful of other movies could have been considered like “Rabbit Proof Fence”, “Y Tu Mama Tambien”, “Punch Drunk Love”, and “About Schmidt”. And, of course, there are always five or so foreign movies that we’ll never see that are probably far better than anything from America. Ultimately, I don’t know what I think should have won, except that it should not have been “Chicago”.

* Random Observation of the Day: Has anyone else ever noticed that when you spellcheck in MS Outlook/Word and it comes to “Pejman”, it suggests that you use the word “Penman” instead.

* Movie Quote of the Day: “Some mothafucka’s always trying to iceskate up hill.”