This dangerous behavior resulted in immediate removal from the Air and Space Museum.

It’s been a long time since we’ve last had a Bun of the Day. Just another reason to love Walgreens (besides Walt-Tussin).

Protect THIS!

Awesome: This morning, I attended the Pentagon Force Protection Agency’s “Urban Shield” Operational Response test. The test was conducted to improve the operational response of emergency personnel to an outdoor airborne biological attack and to evaluate the effectiveness of various personnel decontamination procedures. Test volunteers were positioned at locations inside and outside of the Pentagon, and a single release of a biological particulate tracer material, referred to as garden powder, occured along a nearby access road. Post-release, volunteers were transported to a decontamination station near the Pentagon Navy Annex, where test volunteers underwent surface sampling to evaluate their exposure to the particulate tracer followed by one of two water-based decontamination protocols. Post-decontamination, volunteers underwent another round of surface sampling to evaluate removal of the particulate tracer.

Awesomer: The event marked a rare opportunity to break one of the forbidden laws of the Pentagon grounds: no photography.

* Linzer Binzer of the Day: Courtesy of this pile of delicious cookies at the Firehook in Dupont. First Linzer Binzer of 2009. Great to keep the tradition alive.

* (B)Lindsor Bindsor of the Day: Courtesy of this store in Bethesda.

* Linds of the Day: Courtesy of these bowling shoes.

* Bun of the Day: Incidentally, ESPN News is also runin’ with Bunin’.

* Bun of the Day: Courtesy of this display in a Sky Harbor Airport vendor’s cart.

* Bun of the Day:The NBA season is over and Steve Nash still can’t stop his perennial mimicking of Bunzo D. Clown, who by the way, doesn’t mess around.

* Bun of the Day: Courtesy of this coffee dispenser.

* Bun of the Day: Courtesy of Vivian Tang

* Lindsor Bindsor of the Day: Courtesy of this can of olives at a Long’s Drugstore in San Diego.

* Follow-up Conversation of the Day: Courtesy of Chris Harden and I.

John: That’s an instant journal entry on my sister!
Chris: Your sister’s name is “Olive”?

* Sweet Bun(s) of the Day: Courtesy of this Chinese movie I came across in a boba shop in San Diego.

* Lindsor Bindsor of the Day: Courtesy of this menu I found hanging in my apartment lobby.

* Bun of the Day: Courtesy of this pack of delicious frozen treats from Costco. Also making a guest appearance in the freezer glass: my LG VX6000 digital camera/cell phone wonder device!

* Bun of the Day: Courtesy of this bag of Costco hot dog buns. By the way, Costco hot dogs: ridiculous.

* Bun of the Day: Courtesy of this awkwardly parked truck I spotted this morning in Westwood.

* Bunns of the Day: Courtesy of this coffee maker triumvirate in the Westwood Unical 76

* Bun-Bun of the Day: Courtesy of this show Lindsor spotted on TV.

With the nation’s interest in all things Bun at an all-time high (data not shown), I thought it appropriate to bring you this particularly ridiculous picture of Brandon. While it will forever remain a mystery why he chose to make this facial expression, it is quite clear that he is just a few dozen bees flying out of his mouth short of being The Mummy from The Mummy.

* Bun of the Day: Courtesy of this clock spotted in Ventura.

* Bun of the Day: Courtesy of this Oxnard Auto Center advetisement I see every single time I drive to Santa Barbara. I have been trying and failing to capture it on film for the past three years because the ad is only displayed for a few moments before the next one cycles through. It is truly like trying to catch lightning in a bottle. But, by the grace of all things holy, Lindsay managed to nab the following photograph.

* Bun of the Day: Courtesy of this package of Bundt cake spotted by Jen recently.

* Buns of the Day: Courtesy of this classic workout video I bought for 50 cents at BigLots last weekend.

* John of the Day: Courtesy of this picture taken by my friend Darcy during our summer 2001 trip to San Francisco.

* Buns of the Day: Courtesy of these bags of candy Lindsor spotted in a candy shoppe in Geneva, Illinois.

* Ridiculous Item of the Day: Alyson referring to Easter as “Easties”.

* Buns of the Day: Am I the only person who saw Super Size Me and now eats MORE McDonald’s then before? Let’s be honest. The McGriddle: a 560-calorie breakfast that sandwiches egg, cheese, and a sausage patty between two artificially maple-flavored pancake-biscuit things. Quite possibly the only phenomenon to rival my covering my pancakes which are covered in eggs which are covered in sausage with inordinate amounts of syrup. I don’t know what special ingredients they put in those McGriddle buns, but I find myself craving them nearly every single morning. I manage to resist this temptation, if not because the 0.15 mile commute from my apartment presents a considerable detour and time commitment in the LA traffic, then because I am at least remotely concerned about my heart and arteries clogging instantaneously as I pull out of the drive-through. Still, the McGriddle has replaced the Sausage Egg McMuffin as the greatest and best breakfast sandwich in the history of the world (though both are followed closely by the “Bluebs” breakfast sandwich[bluebies!]).

* Bun’s of the Day: Courtesy of this restaurant we spotted while renting our equipment at Action Ski Rental in Tempe. I remember seeing Bun’s Cafe for years and always being mildly to extremely amused. It is my pleasure to now offer this image to you.

* Bun of the Day: Courtesy of this bag of Honey Bun’s I spotted and hence forth photographed with my trusty LG camera/cell phone wonder device.

* Brandun Hawlee of the Day: Courtesy of the error Bun recieved when trying to open a document he created.

Once again, we celebrate the glorious birth of Bun! This year, I’ve traveled far and wide to gather tales of Brandon’s goodwill toward humanity and posted them for all to enjoy. Below, you’ll find a few anecdotes as described to me by just a handful of the million of Bun’s followers. If you have anything amusing to share, please email me or post a comment and I’ll add your contribution! Happy Birthday Bun!

Gravey D.: Censored due to adult content.

Jen C.: During Super Bowl weekend of January 2003, I, along with many of my fellow CdS alumni, went to San Diego to partake in the Football Festivities. One afternoon, we ventured to the beach. As we were playing a game of football, Brandon and I were on opposing sides and decided that, between the two of us, we were now going to play tackle football. After much trash-talking on Brandon’s part towards me, the snap was finally under way. There are different accounts as to what happened next. I recall tackling Brandon around the knees, lifting him up off the ground, throwing him across the sand, and standing above his limp body while cursing at him. Another version is that I suplexed Brandon and close-lined him on the way down. I think he rather enjoyed the incident because he let me spoon him later. All in all, it is safe to say that I am more of a man than Brandon is. Happy Birthday Bunzo!

Jodi B.: Bun reminds me of green and red food chains. Specifically:

CHILI’s- Once at the Chili’s in Tuscon, after I had recently heard about how Bun arranges his french fries into very particular rectangular heaps ‘in order to minimize the surface area in order to maximize the heat retention’, I decided to do an experiment to test how much Bun is in Bun. I was going to mix up the sugar holder at my end of the table (Equals and Sweet and Lows in a big blue, pink, and white jumble instead of divided by brand and color) and put it at his end of the table, and take bets on how long it would take him to notice and organize it appropriately. My experiment never got off the ground however, as Bun shouted “what the HELL are you doing?!?” from far far across the table the moment I even began trying messing up the packets…

APPLEBEE’s- At one of our many late night happy hours, Bun ran out to Pejman’s car for whatever reason and fell asleep in it. Hours later, when we all went to leave, there was Bun, passed out in the car, with the keys inside of it. No way to wake him up and get inside. Pejman was stranded.

Thanks for the memories and Happy Bunday!

John: Coincidentally, Pejman’s third anecdote was the very first thing that came to my mind when I thought of a comical Brandon-related memory. The second thing that came to mind was during our ski trips when Brandon would put on his thermal underwear shirt in the mornings. This “shirt” was so long, it nearly reached Brandon’s knees, and hence, we all referred to it as Brandon’s “dress”. Not sure why this came to mind, but it was one of many hilarious and memorable items from our many ski trips over the years.

Lindsay: I’m just glad Brandon was there during my fat years. Lindsay never turns down 300 sandwiches and a vat of sour cream. Happy birthday Brandon!

Pejman:

1. John, Javan, and Brandon spent the night at my house. It was late and we were all trying to go to sleep. Brandon kept tossing and turning, obviously something was bothering him. He said nothing for a good 10 minutes, but then he had enough. He had to tell someone something. “WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE TURN OFF THE DAMN RED LIGHT ON THE STEREO!?!??” Nobody had any idea what he was talking about. Collectively, we responded with “Brandon, there is no red light, what are you talking about?” Turns out, the little red power light on my stereo (diameter = 1 cm) was causing Brandon all of this emotional and physical trauma. We laughed about it for a long, long time.

Nothing major ever bothers him, but the smallest things will drive him insane.
2. It was the summer of I believe our junior year of high school. Back then, most of the summer would be spent playing video games. I was over at Brandon’s house one night while he was playing the infamous Might and Magic (I believe, #7). It was getting pretty late, so I went home. I came back over the next day around lunch time to see what Brandon was up to. The conversation went something like this:

Me – “Hey Brandon. What’s going on?”
Bun – “I just beat (something hard). But, I’m feeling a little hungry.”
Me – “Really? What did you have for breakfast?”
Bun – “Breakfast? I didn’t eat breakfast. You know what? Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve eaten anything for 2 days now. Jeez, no wonder I’m so hungry.”
Me – “hahahahahaha. Why haven’t you eaten anything??!?!”
Bun – “I forgot.”

Typical Brandon, he would be so consumed by video games, he would forget to eat.

3. Josh was giving John and I a ride home from tennis practice. It was around 6 pm. Brandon’s house was on the way to my house. As we are driving by, John and I tell Josh to slow down so we can see what Brandon is doing. His blinds are wide open. He is sitting in front of his computer with his legs on his desk in a hilarious conversation. He is typing on his keyboard with his hands UNDER his legs. Hysterical. How could that be comfortable for anyone!??! We made josh stop the car and we were rolling around in the street laughing.

Again, typical Brandon, sitting in some highly awkward position.

Steve: One of my fondest memories is during our European vacation. Particularly, the morning we got to Scotland. After a horrible bus ride all the way from London, a headhunter picked us up to his hostel. Well, almost everyone slept ok except for Bun and Javan. Pejman and I were trying to watch TV, I think, and we were talking. Brandon tries to sleep and asks Pejman to keep it down. Needless to say, this didn’t work, and Brandon lost his mind. I think this is when Brandon threw Pejman’s toiletries bag and a remote control at Pejman. Why was all this violence necessary?

Richard: Well, there are lots of things that come to mind when I think of Brandon:

1. Gramps
2. That picture with half a face.
3. All the flights we took around AZ, landing in the middle of the desert in some sketchy towns like St. Johns, AZ.
4. Useless facts
5. “Oh, come on”

Valerie: Brandon is huge: a three-pronged essay by valerie c.

when i think about brandon–which hey, everybody does it, no need to be ashamed–my memories can be classified as follows: hop-li. prior to meeting brandon i was, for increasingly unclear reasons, under the impression that he was approximately the same size as john (which some may erroneously believe to mean “huge”). so, when i finally met him one fateful night at hop-li to dine on ridiculous portions of mystery meat, i was, as they say, shocked and appalled. why was he so small? nobody knows! my most recent and perhaps fondest memory of brandon, however, is talking to him on the phone while he was in vegas. ahhhh, bun, you make me smile. happy birthday!

* Movie Quote of the Day: “Oh, look, an indoor outhouse.”

I was in the lab all morning performing Day 2 of the Sox2 immuno run. I learned all about the auditory system in class. Then I went back to lab to coverslip my slides. Now, I’m going to see Phone Booth with Brian/Josh, Kathy, Pejman, and Erling. Yeah that just about covers it.

* Ridiculous Item of the Day: I was under the impression that companies like Kodak and Nike would match any price to buy their domain name from independent owners. Apparently, I was wrong. The going rate for the top domain names has reached a ceiling at 99 MILLION DOLLARS, as this Ebay auction indicates. I suppose it may be a tad unfair to label this auction “ridiculous” since the winner gets “a diet that is guaranteed to work” and a super cool t-shirt to go along with an unforgettably catchy domain name like GOYFLADIET.COM that will undoubtedly turn any business into a money-making machine.

* Number of the Day: $8.99. Otherwise known as the price of a “large” (footlong) sub-sandwich at any of the 500 Quizno’s in the greater Los Angeles Area.

* Ironic Situation of the Day: Calling the phone company and being put on hold.

* Best Song I’ve Ever Heard of the Day: “Bring Me To Life” by Evanescence (This was also the only redeeming part of the movie Daredevil)

* Movie Quote of the Day: “How long have you been a spy, Harry?”

After getting a flood of letters, emails, and phone calls begging me to add a “Weekly Polls” section to my website, I’ve decided to make that dream a reality. I pay attention to my fans and take everything they say into consideration when designing the site. Just because it is named JohnOhab.com doesn’t mean that everything has to be about me. Officially, I’d like to keep it at 95% about me and the rest is up to the general population to decide. That should make for fair and balanced content that appeals to a broad audience. As for the pornography section that was demanded of me after neuroanatomy class today, I’m going to have to put those plans on the backburner until I can get some original material.

Anyway, I was initially going to do a Daily Poll, but I just don’t have the time to administer that, nor do I have the creative capacity to come up with five things to vote on everyday. Unless, of course, I kept doing variations of “What picture is the most ridiculous?”, in which case I have an endless supply of humiliating material courtesy of Nima and Brett’s cameras. Since I have a final exam to prepare for, the first Weekly Poll is nothing creative, just something to get the ball rolling. By the way, if anyone feels the need to vote like 30 times, not only are you sad and pathetic but your attempt to ruin everyone else’s fun has gone for not. There are several measures in place to guard against such behavior, so please just don’t waste your time.

I also wanted to say congratulations to Bethany “Judge” Drudd for being accepted into the masters program in Education at DePaul University. Way to be!

* Ironic Situation of the Day: Being put on hold to talk to the phone company.

* Anecdote of the Day: About three years ago, Richard, Pejman, Jen, and myself were walking to the will-call booth at America West Arena to buy Coyotes tickets. Jen asked, “So who is this ‘Will Call’ guy that we’re meeting?” We all had a good laugh.

* Movie Quote of the Day: “This community means about as much to me as a festering bowl of dog snot!”