JohnOhab.com: The Greatest and Best Website in the World » mimefest

White House Mime

John Ohab — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 05:13:53 +0000

Yes, I came across this portrait of our 40th President at the very end of the White House tour, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t destiny.

Thanksgiving at Harvard (or MimeFeast 2009)

John Ohab — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 03:31:26 +0000

John Ohab meets John Bridge

Harvard is pretty much overflowing with statues of old Puritan dudes named John (see: My Trip to Harvard).

Hail Ian!

John Ohab — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 10:57:27 +0000

Ian is in the band, Deville. He also looks like this statue of Caeser, which gained considerable poularity after Laura mimed it in Caesar’s Palace. There is pretty much nothing else about Ian that I would like you to know at this point.

Hail Laura!

John Ohab — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 21:11:08 +0000

I’ve really been into user-generated content lately, so I was extremely pleased when Laura sent me this mime from Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas. Three stars for the mime and another half star for navigating the Vegas crowds to find a piece of historical art.

That being said, I’d much rather have a mime of that strange little naked man-child thing holding onto Caesar’s leg.

MimeFest 2009: Denny Green vs. Ken Wisenhunt

John Ohab — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:57:59 +0000

2006 Cardinals vs. Bears post-game conference

2009 Cardinals vs. Bears post-game conference

Super MimeFest

John Ohab — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 17:02:42 +0000

It’s been 1o months since the Cardinal lost to the Steelers in Super Bowl XLIII, and today I finally looked at the pictures taken during our Super Bowl party. It may sound ridiculous, but I honestly feel so much residual pain from the experience that I couldn’t bring myself to revisit that day until now.

People that have followed an even mildly successful sports franchise will never understand what it is like to be a Cardinals fan. Since forever, they have been the laughing stock of not just the NFL but the entire sports world. Detroit Lions fans get it . Los Angeles Clippers fans get it. People who cheer for the Yankees or the Broncos simply do not understand what it is like to support a team that has zero chance of ever winning anything. Cowboys fans, Steelers fans, Lakers fans are all given credit for being such amazing supporters, but really, cheering for a winner isn’t the best way to measure devotion.

Last year, Cardinals fans finally had a chance to feel like a winner. When Larry Fitzgerald scored the go-ahead touchdown in the Super Bowl, 20 years of pain was almost instantaneously dissolved, only to rematerialize 10-fold a few minutes later when Santonio Holmes scored the game-winning touchdown. While Steelers fans were ho-hum happy about their SIXTH Super Bowl, it was absolutely devastating to true Cardinals fans. Our only chance in 20 years, and possibly, our last chance for another 20.

It was a a day of extreme highs and lows that I had experienced only a few times in my life. Is that sad? Sort of. Sports are fundamentally about entertainment. But, when you commit yourself to supporting something–a person, a cause, or a sports team–your pride and happiness ares at stake, and it doesn’t matter how seemingly trivial that something might be. Thus, while I am admittedly embarrassed to still be unable to watch Super Bowl XLIII highlights, I am proud to have to supported the Cardinals in their best and worst moments.

Anyway, this is a meaningless discussion since the Cardinals are guaranteed to win the Super Bowl in 2010.

MomFest 2009

John Ohab — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 05:04:40 +0000

Of the 6.022 x 10^23 reasons that I love my mom, one of them is not her ability to perform complex arial maneuvers. I award her no points, and may God had mercy on my soul.

Starbucks Instant MimeFest

John Ohab — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 17:06:49 +0000

It took 38 years for Starbucks to unleash their full-bodied, flavorful instant coffee known as “Via.” It took only one well-documented loss in OscarFest 2003 to steal my likeness for their VIA marketing bulletin.

Chief MimeFest

John Ohab — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 02:16:35 +0000

It may be hard to believe, but this is the only known photo of man doing an impression of Kiefer Sutherland doing a mime of Chief Seattle.

The Trouble with MimeFest

John Ohab — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 21:01:00 +0000

John RawLINS

Nice maneuver, Lins! I award you 10 bonus points for name manipulation. Unfortunately, I’m going to have to dock you 10,000 for lack of sword, hat, beard, boots, early 1800s attire, and binoculars, and of course, for never having been the personal adviser to General Ulysses Grant like the real John Rawlins.

10-10,000= -9,990

Better luck next time!

Bud Light with Mime

John Ohab — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 20:19:00 +0000

Busched!

Number of Eberhard Anheuser statues mimed by John during the Anheuser-Busch St. Louis Brewery tour: 1.

Number of Eberhard Anheuser statues mimed by you during the Anheuser-Busch St. Louis Brewery tour: 0.

Like Father, Like Pinocchio

John Ohab — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 00:57:00 +0000

I’m a real boyyyyyyyyyyy

One of my favorite memories from our recent trip to St. Louis was visiting Citygarden, a downtown oasis full of lush plantings and impressive sculptures, which, in addition to a system of 102 water fountains known as “Splash Plaza” (aka “hookworm central”, in the background), features a 14′ 7-1/2″ painted bronze statue of Pinocchio that is perfect for public miming.

AnHUGE Inspiration

John Ohab — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 23:20:00 +0000

A-Muse-ing

When AnHUGE and I volunteered for Servathon 2009, we weren’t thinking about individual recognition or accolades. We were thinking about America’s youth and their right to an enriching educational experience. But, I suppose when you dedicate a single Saturday morning each year to cleaning and painting elementary school bathrooms, you’re bound to inspire at least one piece of public art. This year, our commitment to teamwork, excellence, and yellow-green doors led to this beautiful artwork on the Wilbur J. Cohen Building (across from the Air and Space Museum).

What will we inspire next year?

Capitol Mimefest

John Ohab — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 23:29:00 +0000

Immortal Be-garfield

I reasoned that since someone placed this majestic statue of “James A. Garfield” in front of the US Capitol, he must have done something important. I never bothered to check the cover of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, so we may never know. But, man alive, that would suck to be immortalized in a parking lot.

General Rock, Scissors, Paper

John Ohab — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 01:18:00 +0000

Rock, Paper, MimeFest

Michael and Lindsor’s recent trip to Washington, D.C., provided a wonderful opportunity to experience the history, culture, and vitality of our great nation’s capital. Most importantly, it provided a plethora of opportunities to photograph complex aerial mimes next to popular civic statues and memorials.

We got the ball rolling in Lafayette Park, where French General, Jean-Baptiste Donatien de Vimeur, Comte de Rochambeau stands immortalized, gesturing demonstratively toward the Potbelly’s Sandwich Works on 12th Street. General Jean-Baptiste Donatien de Vimeur, Comte de Rochambeau is well known for supporting the American Revolution by commanding French troops to fight the British army. He also has the longest name in the history of the world. But you already knew that. What you probably didn’t know is that General Jean-Baptiste Donatien de Vimeur, Comte de Rochambeau would inadvertently inspire a generation of children to replace the traditional “Rock, Paper, Scissors” with his 4th last name, pronounced phonetically, “Ro-cham-bo”.

As for Michael, I award him five points with a great deal of hesitation. He nailed the aerial maneuver and the pointing, and we sure as heck learned a lot of important history. But, where was the colonial outfit, the gingivitis and the giant map that were so common in those times?

I would pretty much sell my soul for a Potbellys sandwich right now.

ALERT: Bigfoot watch in DC this week!

John Ohab — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 18:40:00 +0000

Messin’ with Mimefest

Spring is a wonderful time in our nation’s capital. Life-giving showers have reinvigorated our plants and our spirits as we prepare for the summer heat and the arrival of thousands of Bigfoots into the DC metro area.

This year’s Bigfoot influx is expected to be the biggest in nearly 10 years, and city officials are taking no chances. Informative signs have been posted throughout the wooded areas of northwest DC to alert hikers and picnickers about our guests. These signs are also being posted in urban locations like Dupont Circle, which offer shopping, dining and coffee spots that are popular in the Bigfoot community.

An anonymous city official warned that these signs cannot solve all of our problems. Residents are advised to be aware of their surroundings at all times and avoid any direct Bigfoot interaction. Limbs and other detached anatomy will be collected at the nearest post office and can be claimed Mon-Friday during working hours.

To help in this spring’s Bigfoot effort, the beef jerky maker, Jack Links, has re-released their “Messin’ with Sasquatch” educational series. The episode below, “Cold One”, has proven most effective at building public awareness and appreciation for the dangers of engaging Bigfoots, particularly those engagements involving alcohol abuse-induced taunting.

Good luck, and let’s stay safe out there!

Get more out of life with a Masters in Stealing John’s Likeness

John Ohab — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 04:01:00 +0000

Mimefest 2009, MBA

Marylhurst University: “Academic Excellence Since 1893″ and “Wanton Disregard for John’s Sense of Self since 1998″

One trip to through the Imperial Sand Dunes at the Arizona/California border during our 1998 trip to San Diego, and Richard and I inspired an entire advertising campaign for Marylhurst University. I hate to think what would have happened if the Star Wars creators had gotten their hands on this picture.

Five dollar Mimefest!

John Ohab — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 13:59:00 +0000

The only redeeming aspect of the Arizona Cardinals’ embarrassing performance against the Philadelphia Eagles: the Philly cheeseteaks at Subways in Philadelphia taste much better than they do in Arizona.

MimeFest now on display at the Library of Congress

John Ohab — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 15:06:00 +0000

Footlong beards are, like, so two millenniums ago

The Library of Congress is perhaps the most beautiful building in Washington DC, and it provides unquestionably the most opportunities (1) for forced public mimicry of nude, unrealistically muscular old men in strange acquatic settings. After performing your mime of choice, you should proceed directly to the Exploring the Early Americas exhibit, which features the controversial 1507 and 1516 world maps by Martin Waldseemüller. Bioephemera blogged on this topic far more eloquently back in March, but she has yet to appear on her blog performing any public mimicry of nude old men in strange acquatic settings. Let’s just call it a draw and move on.

MimeFest 2008: Pinky and the Neuroscientist

John Ohab — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 11:25:00 +0000

Two Johns. One color. Can you handle it?

As John and I quickly realized, being Samers at a wedding isn’t quite as cool when the color pink is involved. However, it does provide us all an opportunity to revisit one of my favorite videos Internets videos, Pinky: Pet of the Week. I can’t imagine the animals that were not featured because they didn’t meet the obedience criteria. Yet another example that cats are evil devil-beings.

MimeFest 2008: Periwinkle is the new black

John Ohab — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 22:30:00 +0000

Peter, Purple, and John

Thankfully, Pete and I were only identified as Samers long after Steve’s wedding had ended. Extra points to Pete for looking like the angry coupling of a bald Curt Schilling and himself.

Bones.

MimeFest 2008: Wedding Edition

John Ohab — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 13:14:00 +0000

Congratulations to the happy couple!

The best part about having a best friend is that you share the glory and/or embarrassment that comes along with impromptu moments of forced, public mimicry. For some reason, Bun and I seem to thrive at weddings, a trend that was documented quite poetically in THIS Journal entry of yesteryear.

Blue Cross, Blue MimeFest 2008

John Ohab — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 15:22:00 +0000

Blue Double-Cross

During our trip to Oregon, Lindsor, Devon, and I spent a day exploring the Columbia River Gorge, a 12 million year old canyon that stretches for 80 miles through the Cacsade Range. En route to Multnomah Falls, one of over 77 waterfalls along the historic Columbia River Highway, we stopped at several popular recreation and vista points. These stops provided an opportunity to learn about the Gorge’s diverse collection of ecosystems, its role in the Lewis and Clark Expedition, and the many ways in which large corporations can utilize my likeness to generate billions of dollars in revenue each year.

Mr. Pickle’s (or MimeFest 2008: You don’t cook your pickles? That’s funny!)

John Ohab — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 01:41:00 +0000

Make no mistake: sandwiches are my favorite food. And, I don’t mean any particular sandwich, such as a turkey sandwich or a corned beef Reuben, but sandwiches as a collective singular entity. I staked this claim many years ago, long before Joey from Friends said that his favorite food was sandwiches, long before Potbelly Sandwich Works started mass producing the greatest sandwiches this planet has ever seen, and long before people around the world rejoiced in a shared hatred for Jerod from Subway. I coined the phrase, “I’ve really been in to sandwiches lately”, which you have likely never heard but is just as true today as it was in 1999. My favorite commercial of all time is the famous early 1990’s Blimpie commercial that introduced us to the “Simply Blimplie for fresh slubbed slice–I can’t say it!” lady. In true form, I am actually leaving my apartment at the end of this sentence to go pick up a sandwich.

Recently, I had the opportunity to enjoy a sandwich at Mr. Pickle’s, my new favorite sandwich shop in the city of Santa Rosa, CA. Nestled in the charming downtown area, Mr. Pickle’s offers a variety of sandwiches made with delicious San Francisco bread and your choice of free fixins. Of course, it is Mr. Pickle himself that garners most of the attention. The restaurant walls are decorated with hundreds of pictures of local residents embracing Mr. Pickle, and the store even has a mini giftshop selling jerseys, t-shirt, and other Mr. Pickle’s paraphernalia at reasonable prices.

The Mr. Pickle’s website provides perhaps the most ridiculous pickle-related media I have ever seen. Make sure to watch the entire intro, which is highlighted by Mr. Pickles performing a borderline suggestive dance routine without breaking his smile for even a second. I’m not going to lie. Everything associated with his rigid gyrations makes me extremely uncomfortable, yet I can’t seem to stop replaying the video. So wrong but so right. Check out Mr. Pickles today!

John and Vinay in a pickle

MimeFest 2004 Flashback

John Ohab — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 05:54:00 +0000

Happy entrails to you

How much am I excited about the 2008 Society for Neuroscience Conference in Washington DC? So excited that I felt compelled to revisit this scenario from 2004. All in all a terrifying image: John mimicking a naked mannequin that has an incredibly detailed half-body yet no identifiable genitalia. Did it even have instructional value or was it just there to garner attention? This action unfolds in front of shelves full of randomly assorted organs, spinal structures, and what appears to be an upside-down brain just to the left of me. Even more terrifying was roaming the halls of the San Diego convention center trying to escape the seemingly endless array of neuroscience posters and finding solace with disturbing gimmicks like this:

Find Tanya. Lock up the restrooms. Start the countdown to Brickskeller 2008.

MimeFest 1999 Flashback

John Ohab — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 14:53:00 +0000

The late 90s

While searching for humiliating pictures of my soon-to-be-married friend, Steve, I came across this early example of mimicry that took place during a 1999 trip to the Hollywood Wax Museum with Jen C. Here, I provide more disturbing evidence that the late 90s, a time when I could apparently wear vertigo-inducing shirts and a metal bead necklace without being criticized, was really just an extension of the early 90s, which was really just a nightmarish extension of the 80s.

I would include a music option in this entry, but I think we’ve all experienced enough Harvey Danger and Barenaked Ladies for one lifetime.

MimeFest 2008: Rocky Balbohab

John Ohab — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:33:00 +0000

Ruining the greatest Rocky II bench jumping tribute ever seen on the streets of Philadelphia was only a mild disappointment compared to having my post-knee surgery dad hurdle the bench like he was a human pogo stick. This was also his third time making the jump. The grunting was really just insult to injury.

The Incredible MimeFest 2008

John Ohab — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 15:30:00 +0000

You wouldn’t like me when I figure out how to correctly use the hue/saturation feature in Adobe Photoshop.

I suPOSE it’s time for another MimeFest 2008 entry

John Ohab — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 22:47:00 +0000

Everyone needs a muse.

SkyMall Fest 2008 meets MimeFest 2008 2008

John Ohab — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 23:57:00 +0000

Two worlds colliding.

Evidently, SkyMall magazine and Southwest Airlines have gone the way of plagiarism in their efforts to avoid the negative effects of rising fuel prices.

Imagine being Magically Whisked Away to MimeFest 2008

John Ohab — Wed, 14 May 2008 15:24:00 +0000

Physical fitness and mind and body wellness have always been a top priority in the Ohab family. This emphasis likely derives from our youth when Marty coached us on virtually every single team sport the YMCA had to offer. It was not uncommon for bedtime stories to contain fantastic lessons on how to “squash the bug” or make the perfect “goose neck”. To continue this tradition, Lindsay, Devon, and I have transitioned to individual workouts and competitive sparring during the off-season. After all, practice makes permanent.

During our recent trip to Lum’s Pond in Delaware, for instance, we took advantage of a series of exercise stations placed along a treacherous walking trail. Below, Lindsay and Devon spend their session further developing their repertoire of complex aerial maneuvers. We have found that engaging in simulated mortal combat builds readiness and endurance, particularly when weapons are disproportionately allocated between participants.

Meanwhile, my attention was focused on exercise stations devoted to increasing flexibility. Though I would have much rather preferred an aging, irritable martial arts expert stretch me to unimaginable proportions (a luxury apparently only provided to Jean Claude Van Damme), I was still able to make progress necessary to meet my quarterly goals.

* First Officer Richard S. Quote of the Day: “Josh has moved more times than I have, and it’s my job to move.”

MimeFest 2008: The Incredible Servathon

John Ohab — Thu, 01 May 2008 13:11:00 +0000

More than 3200 volunteers participated in Servathon 2008, but only one of them was a shredded shirt away from the perfect mime.

MimeFest 2008: University of Delaware

John Ohab — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 21:50:00 +0000

Who knew a trip to the University of Delaware would inspire a new marketing strategy for one of the nation’s leading diversified health care benefits companies? I’ll tell you who: Lindsor.

MimeFest 2008: Always the Right Decision

John Ohab — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 00:03:00 +0000

John effectively portrays Samuel Adams as he undoubtedly would have stood after demanding the removal of British troops from Boston.

Not pictured: Mark, Jenny, and Angela recreate the Boston Massacre.

Mo MimeFest 2008

John Ohab — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 23:03:00 +0000

The Money Shot

MimeFest 2008: A Tale of Two Cities

John Ohab — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 23:36:00 +0000

Only the colder, lighter air of the DC winter could account for my slightly increased vertical.

MimeFest 2008: A Weis-man Once Said

John Ohab — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 01:37:00 +0000

I was one Rogue Mocha Porter in-hand away from experiencing the greatest moment in the history of my life.

MimeFest 2007 Accomplished

John Ohab — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 21:28:00 +0000

There is really only one explanation: random dude attended the UCLA Neuroscience IDP retreat in November 2005 where he marveled at my eloquence as I presented this poster to Julia, and then yesterday followed me to the Sky Harbor Airport wearing a Lefty’s Bail Bonds shirt in honor of my return to Washington DC.

MimeFest 2007 Uncut

John Ohab — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 00:20:00 +0000

It’s up to you to decide which is more ridiculous: doing the Al Bundy pose in the snow in front of the Pro Football Hall of Fame or wearing my Cardinals sweater.

MimeFest 2007: Mime Harder

John Ohab — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 05:24:00 +0000

I take zero credit for this. I don’t find this to be funny. Me smiling should never be considered an actual re-enactment of a grouchy green puppet emerging from a garbage can. However, I do acknowledge the inherent irony in this particular picture, since I did happen to be standing in a garbage can (not pictured).

The Neverending MimeFest 2007

John Ohab — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 01:27:00 +0000

No collection of mimes is complete without an actual re-enactment of this statue honoring The Marquis de Lafayette, an18th century French nobleman who fought beside the colonists in the Revolutionary War. Please forgive my lack of sword (substituted with Starbucks coffee).

MimeFest 2007: First Blood Part II

John Ohab — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 00:35:00 +0000

If there were one image that symbolizes the greatness that will forever be Team Neuroscience, it would undoubtedly be Brian/Josh (where Josh >> Brian) slamming a handful of turkey into Seth’s mouth while Mike looks on in horror. Mike’s expression: quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever seen. Therefore, it was fitting that at my going away party Brian/Josh, Seth and Laura (unkowingly but admirably filling in for Mike) would attempt to re-create the classic image that is forever engrained in the forefront of our minds.

MimeFest 2007: Part Deux

John Ohab — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 22:05:00 +0000

The S. Rae Hickok Professional Athlete of the Year Award identifies perennial dominance and physical superiority, but most importantly, the willingness to perform aerial spread eagle maneuvers for the sake of posterity.

MimeFest 2007, Lies, and Videotape

John Ohab — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 22:02:00 +0000

While posing in front of Ashwini and Andy’s cake, Bunzo and I discussed several options for our inevitable coupling. The only point of contention was the dress: the cranberry color Linslee made famous or perhaps a more vibrant deep red?

MimeFest 2007: The Next Generation

John Ohab — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 00:04:00 +0000

For five years, I walked past The Archer–in all his disproportionate-muscle-to-endowment-ratio glory–waiting for the perfect opportunity to stand by his side. In the end, I waited until the very last day that I was at UCLA to have Lindsay snap this picture in front of my entire family and the Neuroscience community. The pointing and snickering I endured from passers-by did nothing to detract from a moment I had conceived in my mind nearly 5 years earlier.

MimeFest 2007 Returns

John Ohab — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 01:27:00 +0000

For the record, after Jen C. and Allison H. convinced me to publically humiliate myself at the M&M Factory during VegasFest 2004, I was able to gather enough strength and courage to be a part of the YouTube phenonmenon, The Plummer Pass. 673 views and counting…

Note: do not try The Plummer Pass at home unless you have an obscenely large energy drink on the table for inspiration.

Mimefest 2007: The Revenge

John Ohab — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 01:29:00 +0000

My Aunt Theresa’s house in St. Charles Illinois is good for only two things:

1. Inordinate playing of Guitar Hero II
2. Inordinate mimicking of shamed stark-naked angels

The Chronicles of MimeFest 2007

John Ohab — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 01:24:00 +0000

Squatting in front of a squatting, blue-haired mannequin at Sky Harbor Airport–really, I can’t even imagine a better way to honor Michael Dumpford/Dunsford’s graduation from Arizona State University.

MimeFest 2007 Strikes Back

John Ohab — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 01:21:00 +0000

One city. Two dudes. Same outfit. The world is a crazy place.

MimeFest 2007 Redux

John Ohab — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 21:13:00 +0000

What’s really going to bake your noodle is whether I traveled to downtown Chicago for the sole reason of mimicking the spread eagle Endnote guy or if Thomas Corporation broke into my personal picture archive to find inspiration for their new advertising campaign.