The most recent edition of the Office of Naval Research (ONR)’s Innovation Newsletter explores “open innovation” — essentially the notion that organizations can and should innovate by drawing from external sources of knowledge. Seems like a good idea, right? I made it up.  (I didn’t)

Dr. Larry Schuette, ONR’s Director of Innovation, and his team gave me the opportunity to contribute a short article discussing how social technologies (e.g., Faced Book, Classmates.com, and YourTube) are playing an increasingly important role at the government-society interface. The three areas I focused on were crowd sourcing, intra-government collaboration, and citizen science.

Also inside the newsletter, you’ll find an article capturing the entrepreneurial spirit that drives Open Innovation forward co-authored by three professors from the Naval Postgraduate School of Business; an article on massive multiplayer games and insight generation; and an article on Open Innovation and lessons learned within a specific Naval science and technology community of interest.

The Innovation Newsletter is published quarterly and covers a variety of exciting topics. It include articles from scientists, engineers, warfighters, professors, program officers, and others, all sharing their insights and research on a particular field of interest.

Topics in the podcast include: Army Gen. David H. Petraeus formally assumed the command of the International Security Force in Afghanistan; Lt. Gen. David M. Rodriguez discussed the progress the coalition forces are making in Afghanistan; Vice President Joe Biden and his wife Dr. Jill Biden met with servicemembers in Iraq on Independence Day; and more. Listen:

AFPS Podcast 42

The title of my talk was, “You’ve Been Scienced: Communicating Military Science and Technology with Social Media”. I would love to know your thoughts unless they aren’t complimentary.

Defense Department Wants You to Get Scienced

SIGNAL Online Exclusive, January 2010 – by Katie Packard

The U.S. Defense Department’s weekly podcast series, “Armed With Science: Research and Applications for the Modern Military,” emphasizes the important roles science and technology play in military operations by interviewing scientists, engineers, policymakers and other personnel. Not only does the series highlight cutting-edge technologies and capabilities, it also encourages information sharing and collaboration across the government and the military.

The series was launched in January 2009 through the Defense Department’s Emerging Media Directorate. It’s the only Defense Department podcast dedicated entirely to science and technology. Lt. Jennifer Cragg, USN, an operations officer in the directorate, explains that the concept was developed in 2008 after public affairs officers working in various commands in the U.S. Navy realized there was “a unique need to communicate effectively about science.”

Dr. John Ohab, a new technology strategist in the Public Web division of the Defense Media Activity, agrees. “We interview scientists, engineers, policymakers, teachers—anyone involved in science and technology in the government to have them talk about science in ways that are meaningful to the general public.”

The series has two goals, Ohab shares: to convey the Defense Department’s involvement in science and technology and to communicate science and technology in ways that are accessible to anyone. “We want to demystify science,” he says. “There’s often a disconnect between the general public, the government and scientists. We want to break down those barriers to show the scientists as humans.”

From the beginning, the series has been successful. The first podcast received 3,000 feed or download requests. Throughout the year, episodes have been downloaded 200,000 times. Because of its popularity, the series began to air every week instead of every other week.

“Everyone wants to be a part of this,” Ohab shares. “What started as a DOD thing has now become a government thing. We have 50 government agencies and PAOs looking to find the people who can best speak about [these topics].” The series features guests from the military, government agencies such as the Department of Veterans Affairs and NASA, and other organizations such as the Science and Entertainment Exchange.

The original focus of the series was on science and technology in relation to military operations, but that has expanded. Podcast topics include anything from applications to policy to high school science fairs.

Some of Ohab’s favorite episodes include a focus on substance abuse in the military with the Military Health System and a focus on cyber crime with Jim Christy, director of future exploration at the Defense Department Cyber Crime Center. “Here he’s talking about cyber crime, which is not necessarily the most pleasant thing, and we’re learning about him as a person. He’s [a retired special agent], he’s advised multiple presidents, he’s a retired college hockey referee. He developed the first forensic technique to recover data from a cut-up diskette. He’s a Little League baseball coach.”

This emphasis on the stories and people behind the science is a driving force behind the Armed With Science blog. “Every week, I ask people, ‘What did you do to get to this division? What’s your background?’” Ohab explains. “Their background and stories are often the most interesting part. That’s going to be the focus of the blog—first-hand accounts, people’s stories.”

Ohab also intends for the blog to serve as a test site of sorts. “We’re trying to use the blog to test out some of these new social technologies.” Ohab wants to see what works and what doesn’t work. Tools being considered include applications that allow users to choose which account they want to log into when leaving blog comments, for example logging in under their Facebook or Twitter accounts.

Lt. Cragg notes, “We’re trying to use as much social media [as possible] to get the information out there. I like learning about social media tools to inform people about science. It’s like walking into a science class every day.”

In addition to the blog, Armed With Science is also on Facebook and Twitter. Follow along and get scienced!

Yes, I came across this portrait of our 40th President at the very end of the White House tour, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t destiny.

Senate staffer jumps into House race

Thursday, 10 December 2009
By Dennis Welch
The Arizona Guardian

A longtime policy advisor to Republicans in the Senate says he’s running for an open seat in the House next year.

Javan Daniel Mesnard, 29, said he intends to open a committee on Friday and start campaigning in Dist. 21, which includes a large part of Chandler.

Mesnard, a Republican, has worked at the Senate for the past eight years, serving as an advisor to numerous committees dealing with issues ranging from education to transportation.

His last day is today. Mesnard says he’s considered running for a while because he wants to be the one making the final decisions.

“There’s a lot you can do as a staffer,” he said. “But you’re still working for someone else.”

He says he’ll have an official website up within the next couple of days and plans on running under the name of J.D. Mesnard.

“That has nothing to do with J.D. Hayworth although it doesn’t hurt,” he said.

Mesnard has already picked up two prominent endorsements from lawmakers in his legislative district, Reps. Steve Yarbrough and Warde Nichols, who are both Republicans.

“I think he’s a fabulous candidate,” said Yarbrough, who is thinking about running for the Senate next year. “He’s smart and talented and I really hope he makes it through.”

Two other Republicans have filed to run for the seat, Jeff Vance and Venessa Whitener. If everything works out as planned, Mesnard says he will be running as a team along with Yarbrough and Vance.

Nichols is prohibited from running for re-election because state law limits the number of consecutive terms a lawmaker can serve in the same office.

The district is solidly in Republican hands as Republicans currently hold both seats in the House as well as the seat in the Senate. The GOP also enjoys a big registration advantage, out numbering Democrats by roughly 20,000 in the East Valley district.

According to the Secretary of State’s website, there are about 58,500 registered Republicans, 38,700 registered Democrats and 43,203 voters not affiliated with the two major parties.

To mark the 40th anniversary of the Internets, the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) has announced the DARPA Network Challenge, a competition that will explore the role of social networking in communication, team building, and group mobilization. The challenge is to be the first person to submit the locations of 10 8-foot, red, weather balloons at 10 fixed locations in the continental United States.

Here’s how it works: The red balloons will be deployed on Saturday, December 5, in readily accessible locations and visible from nearby roads. Teams and collaborators will have approximately 9 days, until 12:00 PM (ET) on December 14, to collect the locations of the balloons and submit their entries.  All locations must be submitted in latitude and longitude coordinates. The event is open to individuals of all ages irrespective of nationality or residency (except Federal employees and their spouses and dependents), but first you must register your team on  the DARPA Network Challenge website.

Find the red balloons. Win $40,000. Do you have what it takes to be the next Balloon Boy/Girl?

“Drug Free is the Key” for the Defense Department during Red Ribbon Week, which runs from Oct 25-31, 2009. The week is meant to higlight the Department’s effort to raise public awareness and mobilize communities to combat tobacco, alcohol and drug use among military personnel, civilians and families.

I had the opportunity to help spread the word by contributing to The Sara Bellum Blog,  part of a larger effort by the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) to provide information to teenagers on the science of addiction.  Now, in addition to facts on how drugs can affect one’s body and resources for teachers, you can also find my article, “Are You Good To Go?,” and a cartoonishly enormous picture of my head. Thanks to Dr. Bioephemera for her help in setting up the collaboration.

Click here to read the article.  I think you will be compelled to rate it 5 stars. (seriously, do it)

Last week, David Meerman Scott, marketing guru and author of “The New Rules of Marketing and PR,” visited the Pentagon to discuss the importance of social media in the Defense Department’s communications arsenal.  He spent two hours with the All Services Social Media Council, comprised of people from across the Department (ten points if you can find my forehead), and led a very interesting discussion about social media strategy and brand journalism.

I had the opportunity to chat with David during a 30-minute car ride, and I couldn’t help but detail all of the social media strategies we use to operate Armed with Science, the Defense Department’s weekly science podcast.  He was so impressed with our efforts to provide meaningful information about science and technology through social media that he even mentioned us in a blog entry, Brand Journalism in US Military Humanizes Large Organization.

Click here to read it.

This summer, I attended a series of Congressional briefings, “The Road to the New Energy Economy”, which brought together scientists and policymakers to discuss the various energy challenges facing our nation. One of these briefings focused on emerging biofuel technology, and I managed to score some behind-the-scenes interviews with the events’ sponsors and speakers. The above video, produced for ScienceCheerleader.com, contains some of that footage, my now-famous shorts and labcoat combo, and a little Princess Ladyfriend for good measure.

I hope you enjoy it!

Hooray! October is Energy Awareness Month, a national effort to empower citizens to reshape the energy economy and be part of the solution to climate change. This year’s theme, “A Sustainable Energy Future; Putting All the Pieces Together”, encourages everyone to see themselves as a piece of the much larger puzzle that includes efforts from the Federal Government, private industry, and the general public.

While scientists and engineers are working to solve many of our energy challenges, there are steps that each of us can take now to lower our emissions while reducing energy and waste disposal costs. For example, the Environmental Protection Agency’s Personal Emissions Calculator can help you measure your own carbon footprint and then take action. The Department of Energy provides an array of low- or no-cost methods specifically geared towards homeowners who want to save energy without compromising their comfort. Google’s Energy Saver Gadget optimizes your computer’s power management settings. The Database of State Incentives for Renewables and Effiency offers a map of utility programs that provide incentives for those who invest in energy efficiency. You can also help by simply spreading the word and making your friends and family aware of their energy consumption.

If protecting the environment, conserving natural resources, saving taxpayer dollars, and creating a better world for our children is not enough incentive, how about a chance to meet The President of the United States? Oh yes!

Last week, President Obama announced the SAVE (Securing Americans Value and Efficiency) Award, which challenges Federal employees to submit practical, environmental-friendly ways of improving government efficiency and savings. Do you have a innovative idea for preserving light bulbs at government facilities? Or how about a brilliant method for reducing the cost of air conditioning?  You have until October 14, 2009, to submit your ideas for consideration in the fiscal year 2011 Budget. In November, the winner will have the opportunity to present his or her idea to President Obama himself. Stay tuned for news on whether you will also be drinking beers with him.

I’ll return with more Energy Awareness Month reports throughout the next few weeks, including some behind-the-scenes video interviews with speakers, sponsors, and others attending the four-part energy event, The Road to the New Energy Economy. I’m energized — are you?

This Pentagon Channel report investigates whether neuroimaging techniques can be used to detect deception. Dr. Bhatt previously appeared as a guest on the weekly science and technology podcast, “Armed with Science: Research and Applications for the Modern Military”. The report also features my award-winning acting skills and demonstrates the razor-sharp wit and decision-making savvy required to answer personal questions under pressure.

Dr. Bhatt: Were you born in 1980?
John: Yes.

Virtually no hesitation.

In 2008, Vivek Kundra, then-Chief Technology Officer for Washington, D.C, was looking for innovative ways to use information technology to improve the city’s government. He looked no further than its citizens.

Kundra created a public contest called Apps for Democracy, which challenged citizens to create their own software applications using DC government data and popular products like iPhones and Google Maps. For years, the DC Data Catalogue had provided public data on crime, construction projects, and government operations. Apps for Democracy rewarded citizens that could think one step further and develop the most cost-effective, accessible ways of re-packaging this data for use by the general public and the government.

The city invested roughly $50,000 in Apps for Democracy, and in just 30 days, produced 47 software applications with an estimated savings of $2,300,000. The effort was so successful it even spawned a follow-up, Apps for Democracy: Community Edition, which asked citizens to develop applications for submitting online requests for city services.

Through Apps for Democracy, Kundra established a new model for cross-sector collaboration by engaging citizens to meet the technology challenges of tomorrow. It was participatory government in its purest form. And, apparently, President Barack Obama was paying attention – in May 2009, he named Kundra the country’s first Federal Chief Information Officer and charged him with “directing the policy and strategic planning of federal information technology investments”.

As a critical player in President Obama’s Open Government Initiative, Kundra has focused his efforts on increasing public participation in government and improving the availability of government information. One of the first initiatives is Data.gov, a website that provides free access to over 100,000 machine-readable datasets, widgets, RSS feeds, and other data tools held by the Federal government. This collection includes valuable data on an array topics that impacts our lives, from financial numbers to transportation statistics to the FBI’s Most Wanted List. And the numbers will only grow as geographical, weather, and other scientific data is opened for public consumption.

The data by itself is not particularly useful. The real value comes when citizens evaluate and repurpose this data into “mashups” — applications that combine different data sources together to create an entirely new product. To unlock some of this potential, Sunlight Labs took a page out of Vivek Kundra’s book and held their own contest, Apps for America: The Data.gov Challenge. On Tuesday, they announced three winners: DataMasher allows users to build mashups of state information and visualize them in different ways; GovPulse allows users to filter and act on information from the Federal Registry, the government’s official daily publication for rules, proposed rules, and notices; and, ThisWeKnow combines nationwide data to provide information about your favorite city or region.

The Data.gov and Apps for Democracy efforts indicate that the government is starting to think differently about how it uses the Internets to share information and provide more opportunities for citizens to participate in their democracy. Take advantage of this new approach. If you’re a software developer with an innovative idea, check out Data.gov and let the ScienceCheerleader team know if you create your own Data.gov mashup. And, if you don’t have the necessary computer programming skills (i.e., me), you can still contribute by suggesting data sets that you would like to see, rating and commenting on existing data, and suggesting improvements to the website.

Anyway, the neuroimaging report will air on the Pentagon Channel’s “Around the Services” program in the near future. In the meantime, some of the content was used as background footage in the above report on traumatic brain injury.

Check out the 2:20 mark for my world famous B-roll performance in the MRI scanner. Also making a guest appearance: my brain.

On Saturday, July 11, the Pentagon Force Protection Agency (PFPA), the Defense Agency responsible for protecting the Pentagon, conducted an operational response test to a simulated outdoor airborne biological attack on the Pentagon grounds. The study consisted of the release of a harmless gardening powder into the Pentagon parking area, where nearly 100 citizen volunteers were positioned, followed by subsequent decontamination and surface sampling of the volunteers. The results will be used to evaluate the effectiveness of various emergency personnel and guide future operational responses to attacks on the Pentagon.

Best of all, Pentagon security relaxed its usual restrictions on photography and permitted media to film virtually all aspects of the operation. I had an opportunity to interview various subject matter experts, including Mr. Paul Benda and Dr. Christina Murata, Director and Deputy Director of the Chemical, Biological, Radiological, Nuclear, Explosives Directorate at the Pentagon Force Protection Agency, as well as some of the volunteers for a SciCheer video report.

If you’re interested in learning more about the operational response test, check out “Armed with Science”, the Defense Department’s weekly science podcast, this Wednesday at 2pm ET on Pentagon Web Radio. I’ll be interviewing Mr. Benda and Dr. Murata live, and anyone can submit questions before or during the show by posting to the Armed with Science podcast or the Twitter page.

Awesome: This morning, I attended the Pentagon Force Protection Agency’s “Urban Shield” Operational Response test. The test was conducted to improve the operational response of emergency personnel to an outdoor airborne biological attack and to evaluate the effectiveness of various personnel decontamination procedures. Test volunteers were positioned at locations inside and outside of the Pentagon, and a single release of a biological particulate tracer material, referred to as garden powder, occured along a nearby access road. Post-release, volunteers were transported to a decontamination station near the Pentagon Navy Annex, where test volunteers underwent surface sampling to evaluate their exposure to the particulate tracer followed by one of two water-based decontamination protocols. Post-decontamination, volunteers underwent another round of surface sampling to evaluate removal of the particulate tracer.

Awesomer: The event marked a rare opportunity to break one of the forbidden laws of the Pentagon grounds: no photography.

When I arrived in Pittsburgh to watch the NFL draft with Dr. Brian/Josh, I noticed a glaring juxtaposition at the Pittsburgh International Airport. In the lobby, there stood a statue of George Washington, the father of our country and one hell of a model American. Next to him? A statue of Franco Harris as he appeared during the Immaculate Reception, perhaps the most famous play in football history besides every play made by the Arizona Cardinals.

Is this juxtaposition worthy of Bioephemera’s long-running “Juxtaposition” series? How many more times can I say juxtaposition before people starting getting uncomfortable? These questions and more will be covered in the next edition of JuxtapositionFest 2009.

When AnHUGE and I volunteered for Servathon 2009, we weren’t thinking about individual recognition or accolades. We were thinking about America’s youth and their right to an enriching educational experience. But, I suppose when you dedicate a single Saturday morning each year to cleaning and painting elementary school bathrooms, you’re bound to inspire at least one piece of public art. This year, our commitment to teamwork, excellence, and yellow-green doors led to this beautiful artwork on the Wilbur J. Cohen Building (across from the Air and Space Museum).

What will we inspire next year?

Infectious diseases, gene guns, and the military — all on this week’s Armed with Science!

LISTEN to Dr. Connie Schmaljohn, senior scientist at the U.S. Army Medical Research Institute of Infectious Diseases, discuss research investigating vaccines against two types of hantaviruses, which are known health threats to U.S. troops stationed in Europe and Asia. The research team used small amounts of genetic material, or DNA, from the Hantaan and Puumala viruses to develop the vaccines. These DNA vaccines are potentially more cost-effective, and the needle-free vaccination method used to deliver them is less painful. She discusses the research that led to the development of these vaccines and the path that lies ahead. Both vaccines are now in Phase I clinical testing, the first step toward licensure by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.

​U.S. Army Medical Research Institute of Infectious Diseases (USAMRIID)​
​​American Society for Microbiology

RSS | iTunes | Armed with Science | On Twitter

]]> http://johnohab.com/2009/03/03/house-conservatives-fund-website-promotes-me-to-director-of-neuroscience-for-dod/feed/ 6 http://johnohab.com/2009/01/21/obama-inauguration-with-photo-album/ http://johnohab.com/2009/01/21/obama-inauguration-with-photo-album/#comments Wed, 21 Jan 2009 22:20:00 +0000 John Ohab http://johnohab.com/wordpress/?p=1158 This extended weekend has been quite an emotional experience. First, the Cardinals beat the Eagles in dramatic fashion to reach the Super Bowl for the first time ever. Then, DC is transformed into a circus because of Obama’s Inauguration. And, finally, Saw V came out on DVD today (I’ve already watched it). I still haven’t figured out which event has given me the most joy.

This Journal entry will focus on my experience at today’s Presidential Inauguration. I had planned on coupling (more or less) insightful commentary with high quality pictures, but my digital camera decided to poop out after one picture. Consequently, everything I present was taken with my first generation iPhone camera. The pictures aren’t IMAX quality, but they still tell the story.

Several items of interest at the Inauguration:

• The audio-visual coordination was so uneven that it often took 5 full seconds for a person’s actions to reflect the words or music they produced. At times, this was hilarious, but other times, for instance, during Obama’s speech, it was almost embarrassing.
• I stood in the same spot right next to the Smithsonian Museum in the middle of the Mall from approximately 6:30am to 1pm. That’s a personal record.
• I used a port-a-potty at about 6:15am for no reason other than so I could later say I used one of the of port-a-pottys. I actually feel sort of fulfilled.
• At one point, I was actually booed by about five Pittsburgh Steelers fans who saw my Arizona Cardinals beanie. I smiled.
• On the way home, I helped a man having a panic attack hurdle a large barrier so he could lay on the ground and gain his composure.
• My roommate showed up 2 hours after me and ended up just 20 yards behind me.
• I still haven’t searched for news articles that might explain why Dick Chaney was in a wheelchair because I prefer to make up my own reasons.
• Obama’s speech was amazing.
• I wore a Cardinals beanie and sweatshirt that both had a red, white and blue color scheme. Barack Obama’s campaign logo was also red, white, and blue. The American flag consists of three colors which just so happen to be red, white, and blue. Coincidence? I think not.

Here is my picture album. Enjoy looking at that pictures and imagining you were there with me.

We were freezing.

Apparently, Christ did a little proof-reading and got the Tampa Bay Business Journal to change the headline for THIS article.

Taken from THIS article in the Tampa Bay Business Journal. Amen!

For 35 years, the AAAS Science & Technology Policy Fellowships have provided scientists and engineers with a unique opportunity to apply their knowledge and skills to national and international issues in the federal policy realm, while learning first-hand about establishing and implementing policy.

Fellows select assignments in Congressional offices or federal agencies. This is a year-long opportunity, beginning September 1 and ending August 31. Most federal agencies offer Fellows the opportunity to renew for a second year.

Dueling McCain rallies in Phoenix fight for Arizona votes
by Chelsea Schneider – Nov. 1, 2008 04:57 PM
The Arizona Republic

On one block, they wanted U.S. Sen. John McCain to be their president. On another block, they wanted to divorce him.

Two competing rallies for and against the Republican presidential hopeful were held within blocks of each other in Phoenix on Saturday.

The messages couldn’t have been more different leading up to Tuesday’s election.

More than 400 people attended a Get Out the Vote rally in support of the Arizona senator at Desert Storm Park near his downtown Phoenix office on 16th Street near Missouri Avenue.

Down the street, a rally protesting McCain’s policies at Madison No. 1 Middle School drew about 100 people.

Nancy Bennett of Phoenix listened as U.S. Sen. Jon Kyl and Rep. John Shadegg, both Arizona Republicans, told McCain supporters to talk with their neighbors and take to the phones to help their hometown candidate.

“A lot of people are reevaluating their feelings about Obama because they’ve really been basing their decision about Obama on feelings,” Bennett said. “I think most Americans can get past their feelings and vote for what really makes sense.”

Kyl began his comments asking the crowd to yell for McCain loud enough for the other rally to hear them.

He also questioned the validity of polls that show the presidential race is close in Arizona saying they aren’t an actual reflection of who will vote for the Republican ticket.

“We need to surprise those guys with a very strong vote on election night,” Kyl said. “Not only do we want to show those folks they wasted their money coming to Arizona because it’s McCain country, but we got to think about the next two years and four years as well.”

Bart and Brenda Tesoriero of Phoenix brought their 13-year-old daughter Hannah to the rally. For the Tesorieros, this year’s presidential election is about maintaining support for pro-life policies and preserving the America they know for their children.

“This election is one of the most important in our nation’s history,” Bart Tesoriero said. “What’s at stake here is the culture of life versus the culture of death.”

Outside of the rally, people dotted Missouri Avenue holding signs supporting Democratic presidential candidate U.S. Sen. Barack Obama.

Stephanie Hayden of Ahwatukee, along with several other mothers, call voters in swing states when their children are at school to talk about Obama.

“We are just fed up and want our country back,” Hayden said. “The past eight years have been a nightmare, and John McCain would be a continuation of that nightmare.”

The anti-McCain rally ended with protestors marching to his office where a symbolic divorce ceremony between Arizona and McCain was staged.

Clad in a wedding dress, Lisa Blank, local coordinator of the women’s peace organization CodePink, represented Arizona.

“We’ve been married way too long,” Blank said. “A lot of people in Arizona don’t agree with his policies, and for him to come out and say he’ll be the change for the new Washington, he created the old Washington.”

Tim Carpenter, national director of Progressive Democrats of America, said several traditional Republican states are beginning to turn blue.

“Arizona is changing it’s not going to be a red state much longer,” Carpenter said. “These people know they are progressive and are organizing.”

After hearing stories of 4+ hour waits in Maryland and Virginia, I left work an hour early to get a head start on the waiting process. It was raining, so I bought an umbrella. I put on my walking shoes (this would have happened anyway). I made sure my phone was fully charged. I bought a Diet Dr. Pepper, which, as you know, tastes more like real Dr. Pepper. I walked in a slow run to my polling place in anticipation of a line wrapping around the block. When my 40 minute adventure came to its exciting conclusion, I found approximately zero people in line outside of the polling station. Inside, there were a total of 10 people, including me, nine of which were volunteers. I got my ballot, filled it out, and was walking home in less than two minutes. Explain that.

If Barack Obama wins, it will be the first time in years that Americans collectively have a reason to be proud of ourselves (that is, above the basal level of pride we have in our country on a daily basis). I haven’t really considered the alternative, other than investing heavily in the ear plug companies that will see record profits the minute Americans realize that they will have to listen to Sarah Palin for 4-8 more years.

OBAMA!

Reporter: What does the Vice President do?

Sarah Palin: They’re in charge of the US Senate, so if they want to they can really get in there with the Senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will make life better for Brandon and his family his classroom.

No, the Vice President is not in charge of the US Senate, and the Vice President most certainly does not make any policy changes that will make life better for anyone. At least, that’s what the Constitution says: “The Vice President of the United States shall be President of the Senate, but shall have no Vote, unless they be equally divided.” (Article 1, Section 3) Even the US Senate website claims that the Vice President now “presides over the Senate only on ceremonial occasions”. Wow.

Just a reminder: if elected, this individual would have access to our nuclear launch codes.

Function: noun

1 a: a handheld device that aids in accomplishing a task, b (1): the cutting or shaping part in a machine (2): a machine for shaping metal

2 a: something (as an instrument or apparatus) used in performing an operation or necessary in the practice of a vocation or profession, b: an element of a computer program that activates and controls a particular function, c: a means to an end, d: often vulgar

3: one that is used or manipulated by another

America is not the world
By Morrissey

America, your head’s too big because, America, your belly is too big. And, I love you. I just wish you’d stay where you piss

In America…the land of the free, they said, and of opportunity, in a just and a truthful way. But where the president is never black, female or gay, and until that day, you’ve got nothing to say to me to help me believe

In America… They brought you the hamburger. Well, America, you know where you can shove your hamburger. And, don’t you wonder why in Estonia they say, “Hey you, you big fat pig, you fat pig, you fat pig”

Steely blue eyes with no love in them scam the world.
And a humorless smile with no warmth within greets the world.
And I, I have got nothing to offer you
No-no-no-no-no, just this heart deep and true, which you say you don’t need.

See with your eyes. Touch with your hands. Please, hear through your ears. Know in your soul, please. For haven’t you me with you now? And, I love you. I love you. I love you. And, I love you. I love you. I love you.

Then, I came across an article that reprinted a 25-year-old interview in which he admitted to smoking marijuana and taking part in an orgy with other weightlifters. In the interview, he admitted:

“Body builders party a lot, and once, in Gold’s – the gym in Venice, California, where all the top guys train – there was a black girl who came out naked. Everybody jumped on her and took her upstairs, where we all got together.”

Asked if he was talking about a “gang-bang”, Schwarzenegger answered, “Yes, but not everybody, just the guys who can fuck in front of other guys. Not everybody can do that. Some think that they don’t have a big-enough cock, so they can’t get a hard-on.

“Having chicks around is the kind of thing that breaks up the intense training. It gives you relief, and then afterward you go back to the serious stuff.”

That’s pretty hilarious, especially when you consider that he looked like this:

I’m in the library working my way through a fun paper on the MEK-C/EBP Pathway and its significance in growth factor-regulated cortical neurogenesis (insert fart sound here), so I should get back to that. Three more days of journal club until we’re finished with all of the papers!

* Math Problem of the Day: John + Last Night + Chicken Curry + Coconut Milk Tea with Tapioca Balls = Badness

* Movie Quote of the Day: “See you at the party Richter!”