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You can check out the rest of my celebrity doubles by clicking HERE.
Try this for yourself. You don’t even have to go to her website. She’ll never know. Just send a self-addressed, stamped envelope (8″x11″) to: 203 Fair Meadow Circle, Houston, PA 15342. It’s that easy.
Special Alert: As I was preparing this Journal entry, I found that Michael Phelps’ confusing and advertisement-laden website also provides a mailing address for free autographs. I’m going to send my envelope out tomorrow, and, just in case you are interested in this opportunity, you can also send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to: Michael Phelps, P.O. Box 1734, Olney, MD 20830-1734. Report back if you have any success.
Now that we have an answer to the longstanding question regarding Clay Aiken’s sexual orientation, it’s time to ask an even more important one: can we really trust this man to responsibly raise a human child when it was his judgement that has forced us to endure such a deplorable array of haircuts?
Despite his less-than-athletic appearance, the so-called “Iced Cube” was a lot harder to outrun than Pouya and I had anticipated. The Iced Cube eventually agreed to stop following us if Pouya would pose for one cell phone picture to show his friends. At Pouya’s request, the Iced Cube emailed the picture to us later that night.
Though not quite the motherload that is William Hung, I should also mention that last weekend, while waiting to fly home to Phoenix, I spotted former Lakers/Suns/Mavericks/Lakers/Heat forward A.C. Green walking around LAX. You might remember AC Green from his self-proclaimed virginity throughout his NBA career or from his record 1192 consecutive games played.
Also:
John: AC Green is at the airport
Ashwini: Is he not having sex with people?
Before heading for vacation in Japan and Taiwan, newly doctored Dr. Vivian Tang met Ashwini and I for dinner at Nathalie Thai. While enjoying some interesting conversation and delicious Thai cuisine, Ashwini spotted quite possibly the greatest sports hero of our generation: Lakers sharp-shooting point guard, Smush Parker. After a few moments debating whether Ashwini had the intestinal fortitude to actually approach this demi-god, she made her way to his table and graciously asked for a photo. As if the notion was even possible, our night of super star celebrity sightings would get even more memorable. You see, after interrupting the man and his friends during their dinner to take a cell phone picture, Ashwini walked away adding, “I guess I should tell you that I’m a Suns fan now”. The look on Smush’s face was priceless. Were he not too busy adjusting his random college basketball hat slightly off-center, he most certainly would have stabbed her in the throat.
The countdown begins for next May when Ashwini leaves LA. How many celebrities will we see before then? Only time will tell.
In a strange turn of events, I was convinced by Justine to study at a coffee shop not named Calle Vista Coffee this weekend. And, though I was skeptical at first, I quickly warmed up to their free wireless internet and quality if pricey food. As if the day could not get any better, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a brawny, bulging man with finely sculpted pectoral muscles, biceps the size of bowling balls, and daggers for eyes. It immediately became clear that I was looking at myself in a large mirror across the way, and it was at that instant, that out of the corner of my other eye I spotted different familiar face…
Could this be my first celebrity sighting without celebrity-magnet, Ashwini S.? Indeed, walking directly behind us was Arnold Schwarzenegger, Maria Shriver, their entire family, and of course a half-dozen body guards. The irony here being that the body guards were significantly smaller and less intimidating than Arnold himself. For the record, Maria looks even more unhealthy in person and eerily similar to Skeletor, and therefore was considered far more intimidating than either the body guards or Arnold.
I was lucky get two quick photos of the Governator and his family eating their Sunday brunch and then escape out the backdoor to celebrate my snapshots (pix message them to everyone with a pulse). The same cannot be said for Justine, who was stopped by Arnold’s body guards after she made direct eye contact with the Governator himself. Last I saw, she appeared to be engaged in some kind of mortal combat with Arnold, though this quickly came to end when he broke a chair over her head and yelled at the top of his lungs, “Who is ya daddy, and what he does do?!”
Justine will be missed…particularly because we are supposed to give a conjoint presentation on Tuesday, and she has the proposal on her computer.
Ashwini is not the only who sees celebrities in this town. I, too, have a nose for star power, though with a much less serendipitous twist than Ashwini. You see, I have recently begun attending the Creative Screenwriting Magazine’s free movie screening events, which are immediately followed by an interview with screenwriters, directors, producers, and often actors. Therefore, not only am I enlightened by some of the more interesting films around (for free), but I also have an opportunity to capture some of Hollywood’s top celebrities on camera. Take, for instance, the image below, which depicts writer/director Craig Lucas as he exits the screening of his most recent film, The Dying Gaul.
Just one of those jokes that “never” gets old…
Ashwini: Hey! What time is the Pittsurgh/Patriots game? I assume you’ll be watching it?
John: Yeah, it’s the 1pm game. Brian/Josh and I are watching it while i TIVO and flip randomly to the Cardinals game. I will rewatch the Cardinals game that night if they win!
Ashwini: In other words, you’ll be sleeping early on Sunday
While Lindsor and I were waiting to be seated at John O’Groats (alternatively known as “John O’Scrots” by Lins), we spotted one of most famous of all bearded celebrities: Scott Ian, vocalist and rhythm guitarist for the band, Anthrax. Even without Ashwini’s guidance, I still acted quickly enough to nab this photograph with my trust LG VX6000 digital camera/cell phone wonder device. He can be taught.
