“Won’t keep comin’ back!” The only thing more unbearable than watching the Prilosec OTC lady dance is the thought of how many attempts it took to “get it right” during filming. Who talks about their heartburn while dancing with friends? The pointing? Ugh. How is this possibly the “best” take? And, now I will proceed [...]
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New Southwest Airlines Commercial
January 5, 2009
Southwest Airlines has a rich history of hilarious commercials, but this new one is really something special. I can’t stop laughing. It’s funny because it’s so close to reality. How many times has this happened to you?! My favorite part is how the girl is actually sort of impressed before he destroys the audio equipment. [...]
The Beast is The Beast in The Beast
January 3, 2009
With the bocce season on hiatus, each member of The Greatest and Best Team in the World is free to pursue their own personal endeavors (that is, in addition to our rigorous off-season nutrition, acupuncture, and exercise regiment). For example, Jennufine and the Captain pass their time as Citizen Foresters with Casey trees; the one [...]
John finally makes it on Failblog.org! Vote for John’s Fail!
December 5, 2008
The pot calling the kettle a failure more fail, owned and pwned pics and videos What irony! I finally made it on Failblog.org but with an image given to me by Bioephemera! In fact, you were already acquainted with this Fail way back in THIS Journal entry. Hey, the world’s a crazy place. To vote, [...]
The Cardinals soaked up Philly like a sponge!
November 29, 2008
After Thursday’s debacle against the Eagles, I’m starting to wonder if this Jack in the Box commercial is the only resource used by the Cardinals scout team.
Saved by the Bell Nurse Resurrected
November 26, 2008
Saved by the Bell nurse sans nurse outfit Every Saved by the Bell episode contains several scenes so incredibly awkward that their viewing should be uniformly banned except as punishment for violent crime. Recently, I was reminded of one particularly awkward episode when I spotted the above actress, Nancy Valen, hosting an informercial for the [...]
SkyMall Fest 2008: Are you done Yeti?
November 21, 2008
With its redundantly redundant name and characteristically big feet, the Big Foot the Garden Yeti sculpture serves absolutely no pragmatic purpose other than to remind me of my favorite Jack Link’s Messin’ with Sasquatch commercial, “Cold One”. There is something endlessly amusing about the disparity between Sasquatch’s facial expression before and after he gets blasted [...]
A Bioephemerist’s Point of View
November 1, 2008
The pot calls the kettle a liar Bioephemera came across this nonsensical advertisement while shopping for cordless kettles. A typical Saturday? Let’s talk about other things that don’t make sense and start with adults named Billy. Why, with alternatives as appealing as Bill, Will, and William, or how easy it is to legally change one’s [...]
Hover(key)board
October 30, 2008
For only $16.99, you too can purchase a hovering keyboard: the perfect gift for your dorky radioactive blond son! Note: hover keyboards don’t work on water unless, of course, you’ve got power.
Mydentify Theft
October 28, 2008
As you know, I am a huge fun of stealing other people’s likeness and using it to earn credibility and respect from my peers. That’s why I’m excited to announce that American Express has featured my unique ability to lead, motivate, and inspire volunteer tree-planters as the centerpiece for their new Casey Trees fundraising campaign. [...]






January 7, 2009
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