Man Surprisingly Not Ashamed to Appear in Guinness Book of World Records: Gamers Edition
As you know, I’m better than you at Super Mario Kart, the classic go-kart racing game developed for the Super Nintendo Entertainment System. We suspected this back in 1992, but it wasn’t until 2008 that I begin my Quest to prove that I am the world’s greatest Super Mario Kart-er.
After four years (see narrative below), I am now proud to say that my awesomeness is officially immortalized in the print version of the Guinness World Records 2010: Gamer’s Edition! Below, you’ll see the actual reference to my Super Mario Kart World Record on Ghost Valley 2. Here’s the quote in case you hate pictures:
“By comparison, the fastest time trial lap on the Ghost Valley 2 circuit in Super Mario Kart is a mere 12.93 seconds, set by John Ohab (USA) in Washington, USA, on August 9, 2008. Ohab’s speedy time made much use of power-sliding.”
The Quest got off to a good start back in 2008. I immediately set Twin Galaxies records on Mario Circuit 2, followed by Mario Circuit 1 and Rainbow Road. Apparently, I then sacrificed any semblance of my already pitiful social life to set eight more records and re-break my own Mario Circuit 1 record.
That’s when things got interesting. Threats from this random dude who nicknamed himself, “The Challenger”; the systematic destruction of my records by Brandon Skar (Snoqualmie, WA) and Eric Schafer (Houston, TX); and my public attempt and failure to beat myself at MagFest 2010, threatened to derail the quest.
After a Super Mario Kart-less year full of loathing and self-doubt, I endeavored to regain my glory through a series of impressive runs. In February 2011, I set five new records on Choco Island 1, Mario Circuit 2, and Ghost Valley 2. My appearance in the Guinness World Records: Gamer’s Edition pretty much caps off the comeback.
But the Quest is not over. There are dozens of records left to be annihilated. Stay tuned!