After a satisfying 4-2 regular season, Change You Can Bocce was dominated by its milk chocolate-colored opponent, BB Chocolate, 16-8 in the first round of the playoffs. It was bad, folks. Real bad. NBA Finals Game 1, Lakers vs. Magic bad. And, we were the Magic, except nobody on our team was rocking the Stan Van Gundy mustache and only three of us can two-handed windmill dunk a basketball.
There are a number of reasons that could explain our rapid fall from grace. Maybe it was the unpredictable regular season schedule. Maybe it was The Captain’s inability to convince teammates to actually wear their $40 Teal uniforms during match play. Maybe we shouldn’t have discontinued our rigorous pre-game partner stretching routine. Maybe we should have given she-who-has-not-been-nicknamed a suitable nickname to go along with Dr. Clutch, The Captain, The Enforcer, The Beast, Mr. Awesome, An-HUGE and Unkle Unkool. Only time will teal.
I would like to formally apologize to our sponsors–though, it was your decision to sign us to a heavily front-loaded contract–and to the DC Bocce League for our embarrasing performance. We realize this means you will have to cancel the rest of the Spring Bocce playoffs, forfeit many nights of enjoyment at the Pour House, and delay the championship trophy presentation until next season when we return to form.
Unteal next season… Change You Can Bocce OUT!
June 7, 2009
friends and family, sports, Washington DC