Jack the Devil Cat
Cats are evil. They make my eyes itch and induce asthma attacks that, on occasion, have almost killed me. Cats only let you pet them if you try as hard as you can to avoid them. The second you pay a cat any attention, it runs away. These kinds of mind games obviously please cats but genuinely upset me. Sometimes cats are so cute that they cause me to forget these facts, producing various moral dilemmas, including but not limited to: whether to pet them. I usually buckle under the pressure and enjoy the petting process, which only reinforces their behavior and facilitates their evil-doing. Do you need more proof? Just yesterday, my friend Jessica was subject to a vicious bite by her own cat! If cats threw interceptions at rate comparable to Brett Favre, they might be the most evil beings on the planet.
November 13, 2008
animals