2008 October | JohnOhab.com

Archive | October, 2008

Hover(key)board

October 30, 2008

For only $16.99, you too can purchase a hovering keyboard: the perfect gift for your dorky radioactive blond son! Note: hover keyboards don’t work on water unless, of course, you’ve got power.

The Arizona/Bishop Ireton High School Cardinals

October 29, 2008

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Cardinal sin? While waiting for the metro this afternoon, I noticed something very familiar embroidered on the front of this random youth’s jacket. Normally, I wouldn’t think twice–there are seemingly hundreds of universities and high schools with some variation of the Cardinal mascot. However, the Cardinal logo at Bishop Ireton High School, in particular, shared [...]

Mydentify Theft

October 28, 2008

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As you know, I am a huge fun of stealing other people’s likeness and using it to earn credibility and respect from my peers. That’s why I’m excited to announce that American Express has featured my unique ability to lead, motivate, and inspire volunteer tree-planters as the centerpiece for their new Casey Trees fundraising campaign. [...]

Photosynthesis you can believe in

October 26, 2008

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Trees for Obama Fall 2008 has arrived, and Casey Trees Inc. has resumed its mission of restoring, enhancing, and protecting the tree canopy of our Nation’s Capital. In support of this effort, Jenny and I have gone through a rigorous Casey Trees training program to become certified Citizen Forresters. Believe me, this is the real [...]

My Halloween Costume: Prologue

October 23, 2008

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I don’t want to spoil my surprise Halloween costume, so I’ll just give you a little hint. I’m going to be Borat in his green bathing suit. Here is a picture of me doing a little concept clearance at Virginia Beach this summer.

A Questionably Questionable Question

October 23, 2008

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Not that I would ever condone using any variation of the “Well, that’s the $64,000 question!” idiom, but I seem to have found myself regularly engaged in dialogues with people who do. In each instance, both the nature of the question and its associated dollar amount vary greatly. Sometimes its a $64K question; other times [...]

Free Taco Bell Taco Opportunity

October 22, 2008

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I’m watching the World Series for two reasons. First, I’m in the mood for some baseball montage sequences, particularly those that involve the Arizona Diamondbacks or any that revisit crushing Yankees defeats. There have already been two such montages, and the game hasn’t even started yet. Second, and perhaps more broadly relevant, Taco Bell will [...]

Sarah Palin: Emperor of the Senate

October 22, 2008

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This happened. Reporter: What does the Vice President do? Sarah Palin: They’re in charge of the US Senate, so if they want to they can really get in there with the Senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will make life better for Brandon and his family his classroom. No, the Vice [...]

Rock Band Throwdown #1: AZ Attack

October 21, 2008

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The best part about having exactly three friends is that nobody is ever left out of a Rock Band Throwdown. Last weekend, Richard, Brandon, Javan, and I dusted off our guitars and drumsticks and jammed to the tunes of our favorite bands, including Hole, Stone Temple Pilots, and Red Hot Chili Peppers. There is really [...]

SkyMall Fest 2008: No Light in the Attic

October 20, 2008

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Incredibly, this Casio projector actually bends light around the presenter, eliminating the possibility that images are unnecessarily warped by the topography of the body. It’s also wireless or something, but that’s like so totally 2003.

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