2007 February | JohnOhab.com

Archive | February, 2007

SkyMall Fest 2007: The E-ColIpod

February 28, 2007

This advertisement suggests one of two things: a) women don’t use Ipodsb) women don’t use the crapper I think we both know which one.

SkyMall Fest 2007: Rip Hamilton

February 26, 2007

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It’s true. There is nothing worse than having your arm ripped from it’s socket during a crocodile’s death roll and ruining the seams of your favorite jacket. Also useful for unfortunate accidents involving hay baylors and most other farming equipment. In any case, make sure to pack some Neosporin in one of the EIGHTEEN pockets, [...]

Napped-Kins

February 25, 2007

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* Ohab the Rehab of the Day: Courtesy of these so called “napped-kins” spotted by Lindsor.

The Omnipotent Brian/Josh!

February 21, 2007

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Having braved the treacherous morning rush hour traffic in Los Angeles, Suzie and Julia confirm a most universal truth. Although, omnipotence is evidently not without a bit of irony: Brian knows everything but apparently cannot spell “everything”.

SkyMall Fest 2007: Eddie Basho

February 20, 2007

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Amazing!

SkyMall Fest 2007: “No cuts, no butts, no coconuts!”

February 19, 2007

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Someone tell me how a mother rationalizes to her 8 year old daughter that, as it turns out, she called “firsts” and will be exiting the burning house before her own progeny?

SkyMall Fest 2007: Dog Dazer Afternoon

February 18, 2007

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Improving upon the previous model that apparently didn’t work in foreign countries, the new Dog Dazer includes cutting edge “LED” technology that delivers an uncomfortable sound to startle hostile dogs. New features include its bulky size, antiquated design, and a measly signal range that requires the hunted to wait until their snarling, growling predator is [...]

SkyMall Fest 2007: Hey Blinkin’

February 17, 2007

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I think we all just assume that Abraham Lincoln’s voice was emulated flawlessly in those final dramatic scenes of Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, but secretly I have yearned for unequivocal proof of its throaty majesty. Now, I have it. Also, I like how George W. Bush is sporting a pair of classic L.A. Gear’s [...]

SkyMall Fest 2007 Begins

February 16, 2007

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It’s midnight. I’m sitting in the lovely Cleveland airport, having just been informed by Vivian that her already delayed flight will be arriving in two more hours. It’s 2 degrees outside, so “exploring” the city of Cleveland is out of the question. If you ask Brian/Josh, you’ll come to find that these limitations have little [...]