Despite weeks of preparation, scouting, and a flawless gameplan, Team Carmichael knew it was chasing a nearly impossible goal. Sweeping the gold medals had never been done at the Neurology Picnic, and it would take more than just physical intimidation and the insemination of fear in the eyes of every man, woman, child, and clown to accomplish our goals. It would take cheating. And lots of it. Copious amounts. So much that it would be obvious we were cheating. There wouldn’t even be a question. “That Carmichael lab is full of cheaters”, they’d say, “but damn they’ve got a lot of gold medals!”.
With Dr. Li (code name: “Weapon X”) enrolled in every single competition offered at this year’s Neurology Picnic, and Dr. Fradinger and I focusing our energy on the Balloon Toss competition, all signs pointed towards a medal sweep for Team Carmichael. Our enthusiasm reached a pinnacle following our taking of the Balloon Toss crown, but, what appeared to us as a joyous medal ceremony celebrating team unity and a common dream, was interpreted by Kathy Li as a proverbial slap in the face. Why can’t five year olds win gold medals? Insult to injury. Hate begets hate. And while the latter point may not be even remotely relevant here, it was clear from the sparkling vigor in her eyes that little Kathy Li had a bit of Weapon X coursing through her veins as well.
As Morpheus once said, fate is not without a bit of irony. We had insert Weapon X into every competition, and though I recall him winning the top prize each time (May 14th entry), the picture taken at the picnic’s conclusion suggests a different outcome. It is not entirely clear how Kathy was able to manipulate the once immutable mind of Weapon X. Was it blackmail? Slight of hand? Or perhaps good old fashioned brute force. Either way, by days end, Kathy had accumulated all of Weapon X’s medals. And so ended a competitive, if confusing, 2006 Neurology Picnic Games.
In order of descending height: The Champ, Weapon X, Asta, and Kathy. |