This weekend, I had the “opportunity” to watch the trailer for the newest comic book adaptation, Ghost Rider, which stars Nicolas Cage as a motorcycle-riding, chain-wielding, flaming skeleton man who fights the forces of evil by night. Though not directly related to Ghost Rider, I would like to share one small revelation.
I love how skeletons can smile.
It is truly the funniest and most ridiculous phenomenon in the world. In fact, in my soon-to-be-published list of the Top 10,000 Funniest Things I’ve Ever Seen, Number 8420 is reserved for any variety of smiling skeletons including the “Head of the Navigator” from The Secret of Monkey Island, the typing skeletons in Beetlejuice, the “Army of Darkness” in Army of Darkness, the skeleton on the cover of Evil Dead 2 (see picture), the skeleton-pirates in Pirates of the Caribbean, and of course, the aforementioned flaming skeleton head man in Ghost Rider.
Consider that the mechanics of facial expression are determined entirely by your musculature and skin, yet skeletons, who are made of bone only, are somehow able to smile and display a variety emotional states. Or, why do skeletons often have a head of hair or beards or mustaches? Hair tends to fall out even in old, living humans, so how is a skeleton’s beard able to sustain itself over long periods of time (including “eternity” depending on the curse)? Furthermore, it is my understanding that facial hair is embedded in the skin and receives the necessary nourishment through the vasculature. In the case of skeletons, they have no skin except for a few rotting pieces here and there, and it would be stretching it to say that these patches are capable of providing any nourishment. We have therefore characterized an entirely new form of plasticity–one where the hair detaches from the skin as it degrades and spontaneously reattaches itself to the bone. Those in the health care professions must be anxious to get a handle on this one.
A perfect example is this Evil Dead 2 picture. It has no skin or cartilage, as evidenced by the absence of its face and nose, yet the eyes remain intact, hydrated, and connected to the skull. Peculiar, no doubt, since ocular muscles in combination with the optic nerve’s connection with the brain are what keeps the eyes from falling out of the head. Since both of these factors are irrelevant here, how on earth are the eyes still functional?
Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. I love it.
May 20, 2006
movies, pensive reflections, ridiculous