Given how painful it has been to be a Cardinals fan this season (see 3-11 record), it’s hard to believe that I’m still here in Week 16 watching the Cardinals play Seattle. So far, this game has pretty much followed suit. The Cardinals just gave up a touchdown on Seattle’s opening drive; they answered with three conservative running plays and punted; and, now Seattle has just scored again to make it 14-0 at the end of the first quarter. Lovely.
This game is particularly difficult to watch because the rest of California’s Cardinal fan population (Pejman, Richard, Steve, Jen, and Brian/Josh) are not here to wallow in agony alongside me. You see, this season, Pejman and I combined our funds to purchase Direct TV’s NFL Package, a decision made for the purpose of watching as much football as possible and to ensure our domination of fantasy football. While my reign over fantasy football competition will be well-documented Monday night (when I’m officially crowned victor), we haven’t had much luck watching Cardinals games. This is partly due to Pejman’s furious channel changing, which is considered by some to be the fastest and most unpredictable this side of Middle Earth, but also because of the consistently embarrassing performances by our team.
This is not to suggest that we haven’t had some great memories. Opening week started out well (Cardinals 0, Detroit 0). And, who could forget that series of first downs in Week 5 that sparked Pejman’s flurry of “Cardinals Touchdown Dance” moves? There were three victories, all decided on the last play of the game, which easily balanced the 11 losses that came at a combined 280 points. We all cried when the Cardinals got their first sack of the season. And, I still remember exactly where I was sitting when Josh McCown threw a pass backwards into the end zone to LJ Shelton. Just look at how much fun Pejman and I were having watching the Cardinals lose by 40 points to San Francisco. Well, it looks like this week’s Cardinals game is now over (Seattle 28, Cardinals 10), and with Minnesota next week, it’s all but a sure thing that the Cardinals will end up with a 3-13 record. I remain optimistic, however, because of their nucleus of young players and the unstoppable play of confident and sure-footed new quarterback Josh McCown (insert fart sound here).
Really, nothing sums up the Cardinals season better than this exchange between Pejman and I on Sunday morning:
John: Are you watching the Cardinals game?
Pejman: Yeah, I’ll give you a call afterwards if they win.
John: Ok, sounds good!
Pejman: Alright, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.
* Ridiculous Item of the Day: Another in a long line of embarrassing remarks made by commentators during NBA games on ESPN. This one from Doug Collins. “It looks like the Suns are going to bring in Jake Voskhul. That’ll really help them on the offensive side of the ball.” Someone explain to me how a player whose career stats include such unimpressive numbers as 5.9 points, 4.6 rebounds, and 0.5 assists per game is going to increase offensive production.
* Movie Quote of the Day: “Rufio! Rufio! Rufio!”
December 22, 2003
Arizona Cardinals, sports