Pejman’s most recent entry in his Pej3 column pretty much summed up the annual Thanksgiving Judgement Day football game in Tempe. Enjoy!
A Tribute to Judgment Day
Thanksgiving is an age old American tradition. It’s a time for friends and family to unite and spend one day doing what Americans do best…..be lazy and eat ridiculous amounts of food. It is definitely my favorite day of the year. What more can you ask for? With the Thanksgiving tradition came another tradition, a tradition unlike any other……Judgment Day. Every Thanksgiving for the last 5 or so years, Kyrene del Cielo Elementary School transformed into The Old Stomping Grounds. The Old Stomping Grounds played host to one of the best rivalries of our generation. Da Goons vs. The Professionals. Unfortunately, Ryan, the captain of Da Goons, has grown tired of being abused by The Professionals and has rightfully retired. Can you blame the man? The last game was a tough one for Da Goons, as they lost for the first time since the rivalry began. Since the rivalry has come to an end, I have decided to relive some of the great memories I have from this game. I warn you, I was knocked out pretty much every year, so some of my memories may not have actually happened.
Every year, during our “practices” for Judgment Day, I was always the wide receiver. Richard, Greg, or Javan would be named the starting quarterback for the game. However, after about 3 plays, I would take over the quarterback duties. This was always a problem because I can’t throw a spiral, can’t throw it more than 15 yards, and have the accuracy of Jake Plummer. Because of our shady offensive line, I would get HAMMERED. I was hurt pretty much every year. Mild concussion. Broken face. Countless bloody noses. Bruises all over. After one game, I couldn’t raise my arm above my head for 3 weeks. It got to the point where my mom wouldn’t talk to me on Thanksgiving because she barely recognized me after the beating I took. The worst hit was by Chris McD. He sacked me and drove me head first into the ground. My entire forehead was gashed, snot was coming out of my nose, I was seeing stars. Disaster.Brandon was the tight end/offensive linemen on the team. He never dropped a pass. Unfortunately for him, every time he caught it, Justin would come out of nowhere and demolish him. The best hits of the day would always be on Brandon. His offensive line skills were decent, although he usually was a mere speed bump for Matt on his way to devour the QB (see: ME).
Jason would ALWAYS call the “throw-it-up-to-me-in-the-end-zone-I-guarantee-you-that-I-will-catch-it” play. From my memory, I don’t recall this play EVER working.
Robby and Kris usually played defensive line. For some reason, they felt the need to growl before the ball was snapped.
Da Goons usually had a superior offensive line, so running the ball was the strength of their team. However, at some point during the game, Byrne would start devising these ridiculous trick plays. Triple-reverse flea flickers. Statue of liberty. Half Back toss. Again, as I recall, these plays NEVER worked and sometimes led to The Professionals scoring.
Steve would come into the huddle, DEMANDING the ball. So, we would call a running play for him. He would usually gain about two yards before Steve G. knocked him out of the game with a hit.
Brett M. would “post up” in the end zone and demand the QB to “throw it up!”
Pete F. and the Hail Mary. They ran this play at least once, every year.
Greg M. talking shit to me from the sidelines.
I have a distinct memory of Quigley carrying like 4 of us to the end zone. His whole team was telling him to fall down, and he would refuse. He just kept going forward with 4 guys hanging on to him. “GET OFF ME!”
“Ok fellas. I’m going to run around in the back field until someone gets open.” That was our play call towards the end of every game.
Yassiin was talking shit to Hendricks and then Hendricks laid him out. Although, Yassiin ended up getting a touchdown later in the game.
John breaking tackles down the sideline and slapping people in the face on his way down the field. He would claim it was a “stiff arm.” Ohab would frequently come to the huddle and say “I was wide open, throw the ball.” My response: “I was running for my life.”
Davey dominating the defensive line. Sacking people left and right. Dare I say, Russell Davis-like.
Javan dislocating his shoulder every year.
Richard making like 50 tackles every year. If he didn’t make the tackle, he definitely had an assist in the play. The problem was that if somehow Richard was blocked on the play, Da Goons would gain ridiculous amounts of yardage.
Nima, Roger, Panikos, Troy, Brett, Ben, Greg, Steve, Richard, Brandon and anybody else who played offensive line……THE WORST OFFENSIVE LINE IN HISTORY!
Much love to The Professionals cheering section. We always had a bunch of people come out to watch our games.
I know I left out a lot of the great memories of Judgment Day. So, I encourage everyone to contribute to this article so we can remember all the great things that happened on Judgment Day. It was a tradition that I will never forget. I would like to thank everyone involved in the games for the great memories. Thanksgiving will NEVER be the same without Judgment Day at The Old Stomping Grounds….Da Goons vs. The Professionals!!!!!!
* Movie Quote of the Day: “No more Mr. Passive Resistance.”