This Sunday marks Week 1 of the Arizona Cardinals 2003-2004 Championship Season. I wanted to put out an open invitation to anyone who just so happens to be in the southern California area on Sunday at 10am. You are more than welcome to stop by and watch the game with Pejman and I (and Joy, but that’s really by default since she lives here). We look forward to having you!
Of course, I can’t promise the game will be watchable. We’re all aware of the Cardinals’ pattern of getting demolished on opening week versus the most ridiculous teams. Was there anything worse than the Cardinals losing to Miami that one year because of the famed “Joel Mackovicka Up the Middle for Minus 2 Yards and a Fumble” play? Perhaps it was last year when they lost to Steve Spurrier and his collection of nincompoop Redskins quarterbacks? And, how embarrassing is it that the most satisfying opening week in recent years was when the Cardinals had a bye week to start the season? Just pitiful. Also, we won’t be having Marty’s famous pancakes and melon ready to eat at kick-off. I suppose I can try to whip something up, but there is no chance. We have pictures, videotapes, recipes, and nothing works. There is no way to replicate his pancakes. Brandon won’t be here to watch the first quarter and then spend the rest of the afternoon reading the business section and the Fry’s Electronics ads. Richard won’t be able to run around Pejman’s dining room table or do that silly circular running motion on the ground (a la Homer Simpson). And Stinker Dog won’t be able to run around the yard barking indiscriminately for four hours.
Ok, so perhaps this won’t be the most traditional opening week for us true Cardinals fans. What I can promise you is: – Pejman will suggest the Cardinals run the “The Bring the House Play”.
- The Cardinals will be trailing by a significant amount in the second half, and Pejman will lay out his comeback strategy: “Get the ball back, Cardinals, touchdown, interception, touchdown, get the ball back, score, interception, kickoff, score, interception, get the ball back, touchdown, Cardinals, win!”.
- At some point, Richard will say, “I could have caught that.”
- Someone will bring up “Eon of the Simeon”.
- We will do the “Du du du du duh, Mark Smith!” chant on several occasions.
- Steve will show up halfway through the first quarter in his athletic shorts and sandals looking completely exhausted.
- “Tobin for President!”
- Pejman will suggest playing “Phat Bernard and the Funky Bunch”
- I will say “Cyyyyyome oooonnnnnn Daaallllyyyyyy!” or “Baytogooooooo mmmm Daaaallllyyyyy!”.
- Several important Cardinals players will be lost to injuries
- FOX will assign the worst two sports announcers to work the Cardinals game
- We will predict “Cards to the Super Bowl in Cards 2004″
- Brian/Josh will be offended when one of us mentions the “Cactus Curtain”
- Someone will ask where Joe Nedney the Knockneed Neutered Numbskull is.
- We will do the Kent Graham clap after an incomplete pass
As always, there are many more items that I could add to this list, but I should be getting back to work now.
* Ridiculous Item of the Day: Jen referring to my digital camera as my “digies”
* Alyson A Quote of the Day: “I’ve never really seen you in that state.”
* Movie Quote of the Day: “Do bundle up. It’s awfully cold outside.”
September 2, 2003
Arizona Cardinals, sports